#like shit bro she’s only four years older than ME. and at this point she’d have a 7(

[designernishiki]

sometimes it hits me that like. there is a pretty valid reason calling kiryu a granddad despite that being literally true feels Weird to me. and that’s the fact that. oh yeah. haruka has a baby at fuckin 19-20 years old. meaning kiryu is a granddad before he’s even 50.

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[dcomicsficrecs]

Do you have any fics with Jason just being a Bro™️? Or any with him rejoining the family after UTRH?

For the sake of this post not being too long, I am going to rec only one fic or series from an author, but all of these authors are great writers so I recommend checking their other works as well. Hope you will enjoy this fics as much as I do!

1. Jason and Damian being bros

1.1 Bet on it by Lysical  

Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses. __

"I need your assistance," Damian said, voice low and tense.

"No," Jason replied, and hung up.

Short but adorable story of Jason helping out Damian to hide something from their father, just like big brothers out to do.

1.2 Cracked Foundation by Cdelphiki    

The last thing Damian expected to happen when he ran away from home was to spend a day crammed into a small space with Jason Todd.  His father's second son was a black sheep.  An outcast.  An angry, insanity driven criminal who enjoyed screwing with the batfamily in every way he could. At least, that's what Damian thought.  Maybe he was wrong about Todd.

Perfect hurt/comfort with a lot of family feels and Damian and Jason bodning. Bonus points: Jason actually apologizing for shooting him; exploration of Bruce’s relationships with them both too.

1.3   Good Grief by lysiabeth                

“I know who you are, you know. I got my degree at GCU.” The girl says, eyes boring into Jason’s chest as if the red bat were still plastered on it, and Jason’s back stiffens.

“Right.” Jason’s teeth click together as he closes his mouth. He’s eighteen-hundred miles out from Gotham, and of all the Goddamn vet centres he could have broken into it’s probably the only one around that knows anything about his city.

WIP with 8K words so far but worth early reading and bookmarking/subscribing. Case fic, plus Damian and Jason bonding as siblings through Talia? Leviathan also plays a part in this story? Hell yeah.

1.4 Jason and the Three Terrors by Cdelphiki                

One moment, Jason was peacefully sleeping, perfectly content with his life with the League of Assassins.  Okay, so maybe not content content, but he wasn't unhappy, either.  Then Talia woke him up at 2 am, threw three children at him, and told him to get them to America and far away from Ra's al Ghul.

What the fuck.

The last thing he wanted was to see Bruce. But with three brats relying on him and no Talia, there weren't many options for sanctuary. He just didn't expect the kids to grow on him so much in two short weeks.

A superb AU where Jason helps Damian escape League of the Assassin (against his wishes and with two unwanted additions to boot, which is half the pleausure). They aren’t brothers, stictly speaking, at the start of the fic, but become them as the story progresses.

It’s a WIP but it has 50K already and it will be so much more. I am excited with every update and I’m sure you’re gonna be, too.

2. Jason being a brother to Cassandra

2.1 Nests and Cages series by LanternWisp, Lysical starting with Needles or Pins  

Jason Todd's journey back to the Batfamily. Takes place in the Frankenstein's monster of a canon I've stitched together. Each plot is rather self-contained, but the fics do flow into one another

Jay and Cass are bio siblings, and Jason’s slow return to the fold. I love this series, and I think it’s one of the greatest take on Lady Shiva being Jason’s mother too.

2.2 Didymous  by   Hinn_Raven

Didymous: adjective: growing in pairs or twins.

Cassandra and Jason are born twins, raised by their father to be killers. Two heads are better than one.

It’s a great AU with Jay and Cass being biological siblings.

2.3 the patron saint of the lost causes series by evanescent

Pre-Flashpoint AU based on canon what-if Lady Shiva was not only Cassandra's biological mother, but Jason's, too. Mostly focuses on Cass and Jason's relationship, and how that fact changes the dynamics in Batfamily.

It is also a great series with Cass and Jay being biological siblings and I recommend reading every fic of this series.

2.4 Rebirth by Ionaperidot                

"The boy is clearly ill, and while she’s almost certain that he is, impossibly, Jason Todd, almost is not good enough. She can’t drop heartbreak on her beloved’s doorstep, and she can’t run the necessary tests when Damian is vulnerable to her father’s wrath. There’s no way around it. He’ll have to come home with her."

Unexpectedly in charge of a second son, Talia struggles to raise her children without unwanted attention from the Demon's Head.

An AU where Talia is the one who unites Cass and Jason. It also contains Damian, and he’s a little brother to them both.

3. Jason and Duke being bros

3.1 Bats are Dorks by   Reah22                

Duke hadn’t meant to literally trip and fall on to Jason. He really hadn’t. For the record, he blamed Steph. It was probably one of her old pranks that she forgot to take down. That, or she deliberately left it up for someone to trip over in the dark.

Just Duke and Jason, hanging out. Super nice.

3.2 oh, where do i begin? by LazuliQuetzal

“No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?” _____

AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition

Absolutely adorable short story about Jason going to his little brother for advice.

3.3 rockstar au series by addiebey starting with disconnect:

jason and duke bond. dick just doesn't get it, but what's new?

Another great no-capes AU. Only two fics from the series, both under 1k, are focused on Duke and Jason, but they are so great. The whole series is, actually, though it’s not finished. I am just grateful even this much exists, but I am definitely bookmarking and subscribing it in case there will be more. Please give this series the attention and praise it deserves.

There are, alas, not many Duke and Jason-centered fics. Though there is another one I wanted to recommend, about Jason training Duke, but I can’t find it for some reason. It was short and funny, and if anyone recognizes this description, I would be glad if you told me.

4. Jason and Dick being bros

4.1 i was naive and hopeful and lost by heroics (figure8)

Clark and Bruce take in a troubled teen.

The The Fosters AU no one asked for.

It’s a part of the series which is one of the best no-capes AU I’ve read, if not the best, and it’s a great family-focused fic with a good parent Bruce. The road for Jason to become Dick’s and the rest of the kids’ brother is slow but greatly written.

4.2 To Reconcile by CasualDanger      

“Babs slapped me at your funeral.”  Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up.  “She hated me in that moment.  I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died.  And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone?  Because I was gone?”

Short and emotional fic where Dick and Jason open up to each other during pressing circumstances.

4.3  Five Times Dick Grayson Read about Jason Todd in the Newspaper by Engineerd              

If Dick hadn’t been special ordering the Gotham City Gazette, he wouldn’t have found out for - well. Years, at this rate.

Short and very full of emotion story. I love the exploration of Dick’s almost unchanging attitude toward Jason - well, unchanging right before the last time he would read about him (or almost the last time). They’re not really close here, and won’t grow closer, but sometimes siblinghood is like that.

4.4 The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit                

Being transported to the past is not the sort of thing one normally expects. But this having happened, and with no easy way back, Jason's determined to make the most of it. Though the Bat still stalks Gotham's streets, the city's crime is run by the mobs instead of the rogues. There's no Joker yet.

There's no Robin.

Maybe there shouldn't be.

Time Travel Jason&Dick focused AU! One of the best time travel fics where they actually change stuff even if it doesn’t transit to their universe - for exception of their more strong brotherly relationships.

5. Jason and Stephanie being bros

5.1 this time, the loser wins by parkerstorms

They were two sides of the same coin.  They understood each other.  It was nice.  It was a downright relief.  She’d never had a big brother before.

There’s not a lot of Jason and Steph being bros stories I have not mentioned before, but this one is one of them, and a great one too.

6. Jason and Tim being bros

6.1 Bonding Habits of Robins by  GoAwayOlivia                

Giving each other shit is how the bat brothers show they care. Jason and Tim do it particularly well.

It’s a funny and nice fic with exactly what’s said in the summary.

There’s a lot of fics with Jason and Tim being bros but my memorie went blank when I tried to recall. Which is not a statement about their relationships or quality of fics that depict them, it’s just sometimes my memory doesn’t work properly. This is the case with the Jason and Steph, too. As soon as I remember or discover new fics about their relationships, I am going to update this post or maybe create a new one just for the three of them. We’ll see!

7. Batfam Jason-featured sibling relationships

7.1 If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You)  by  lurkinglurkerwholurks

or, 5 times Jason Todd saved his siblings... and one time they saved him.

It was only by luck that Jason was still there when the bodies came crashing down the street. Bad luck, he would argue. He could hear them long before he could see them, their bodies preceded by the thunderous pounding of boots of asphalt and shouted curses. Three or four figures flashed by his little alleyway, a tight mob followed by a lone, slender figure in a streaming cape.

Summary speaks for itself. It’s a gradual description of Jason slowly coming back to the family after UtRH and starting feeling like their brother.

7.2  this is a long drive (for three robins who don't agree on much) by   drakefeathers

(Bad Robins road trip AU!) Steph’s trip home to Gotham takes a huge detour thanks to Jason and Damian’s conflicts with airport security. She’s stuck driving the two brothers cross-country to reach Tim’s wedding in time.

Damian, Jason & Steph bonding road trip AU that warms your heart. Seriously, if you like any of these characters, you read this.

7.3 on a thin chain of moments and something like faith series  by irnan

Jason really oughta know better than to talk to Bats.

Jason bonding with both Steph and Cass! Love it. It’s fluff and angst, which is hard to pull off together, but it works here. It also, in places, incredibly funny. I love re-reading it from time to time.

7.4   Tremor by  LueurdeLaube              

Nobody can tell Jason Todd that joking about his own death is not a valid coping mechanism.

Not about Jason being a bro per se but about Batfam and Jason so I hope it counts!

7.5. the lost sidekick society by  redtruthed                

The batkids make a group chat.

Chaos ensues.

One of the best groupchat AU for Batfam.

[druedidit]

Drue Wilkes Intro

★ BIRTH DATE / 21 February, 1960 (bro this is my third pisces i am going out of my fucking mind) ★ BLOOD STATUS / Pureblood ★ PRONOUNS & IDENTITY / she/her; cis female ★ FACECLAIM / Reina Hardesty

ACADEMICS & ROOMING

★ PRIMARY SCHOOL / Cornwall County Day School, 1978 ★ ACADEMIC PURSUITS / Social Studies degree, History of Magic cohort ★ HOUSE & YEAR / Slytherin, 2nd Year

TW: mentions of murder, suicide, and gaslighting

POINTS OF INTEREST

★ The Wilkes, unlike most of the families listed as the Sacred 28, did not have much in means of monetary value to fall back and survive on. They were forced to become working class people, after the failure of yet another business idea of Rupert Wilkes. When two children came along, Devin and Drue, it only complicated things further. Thankfully, Lindsey Wilkes was able to salvage a hair dresser’s business in Diagon Alley, with a small flat above. It was much too stuffy for four people and while the adults complained and huffed, it was nothing but normal to their two children. Eventually, they were able to afford another business, just next door. They even had the opportunity to join the two flats above.

★ Owning the Junk Store, which worked like a wizard’s pawn shop, introduced the Wilkes to many opportunities they thought they’d never have. Most of the objects that came through their shop were faulty and Mr. Wilkes would spend hours trying to fix them -- success was 40/60. One day, something came through their shop he couldn’t pass up. A time turner. Months were spent, casting charms and spells to make it function good as new. And what do you know? Rupert Wilkes mended it. It became their family’s sole, greatest possession. The only thing of value to the Wilkes name.

★ Of course, having that much power would eventually lead to some trouble. In 1975, after Rupert refused to turn back time to save the family’s dying pet, Devin took it upon herself to steal the time turner. Fifteen year old Drue was woken from a dead sleep, to the sounds of screams. She always thought in a moment like so, she’d freeze up. But no, Drue ran on to her parent’s bedroom, and found her older sister standing over their limp bodies. Devin said only two words murder, suicide. Her life was now built upon this lie, because her sister refused to go back in time now and had much graver plans.

★ Devin never hid a single murder she committed from her younger sister. Family breakfast became confessional. Gory detail after gory detail, Drue knew if her sister did not slow down soon, she would be caught. Or become notoriously known. Either way, having the advantage of being two places at once seemed to lessen her chances of ever being arrested. But without Drue’s own sharp perception, she does not trust Devin’s sloppy ways and has vowed to assist her sister in her crimes. Drue’s become her own personal bait to lure in victims and participates in crime scene clean up. Now, in 1980, Devin has committed seven murders in the last four years. She believes spacing them out will draw away attention. Drue sincerely hopes so.

Extra HC Shit

She & her sister, Devin, claim their mum was a huge advocate for peace and muggleborns. They’ve even inspired people to start a foundation named after Lindsey Wilkes (who was allegedly murdered at the hands of her husband), which encourages blood unity through muggle sports such as tennis, bowling, and roller blading. They do not care if their pureblood allies believe them to be blood traitors. The end game is much more important -- you must be friends with your enemies.

Has never been too affected by the death of her parents, tbh? And though she lives this uncomfortable paycheck-to-paycheck life, she blames them for all of Devin’s disadvantages in life.

Works part-time at Junk Shop and the hairdressers called Hair Dahlia. There was no large inheritance when her parents died. They were left with more debt than anything and both had to continue working. Devin did not attend Hogwarts and Drue only got in on a scholarship for academics.

Working at the Junk Shop has turned her into a total COLLECTOR OOPS! But, she just collects the cool stuff that looks “artsy”. More so for aesthetic than function. Her dream of all dreams is to open some sort of art history museum in the wizarding world. Of course, the funds make it almost impossible to. She is majoring in History because of this, however. Might as well become rich in knowledge if you can’t with money, right?

Is a large participant in JWL and has never felt the need to exactly prove herself because of her lack of money. She feels her ideas and informative opinions are enough to carry her through. Maybe she’ll be so lucky to become President next year, with a little elbow grease.

Devin, her older sister is 100% a Death Eater. Drue’s in the process of being recruited. Which, she more than accepts. Their message is something she agrees with. Although, she wouldn’t be so messy about it -- it’s why she’s going to join. To reform the Death Eaters and keep her sister out of any crossfire.

Also speaks Japanese, is learning Latin, and is a fan of haiku, unironically.

TRAITS

✓  audacious; accommodating; tough  ✗ gaslighting; extravagant; amoral

yes so p.s. my dears..... while i am not a fan of “mindgames”/intentionally gaslighting people, drue can be that way. it may actually be unintentional sometimes because how often she has done it in the past. anyways, i understand it can be a lot! if you ever, ever, ever need me to tag something as a trigger, let me know!!! <3 trust me bbs, i gotchu!

[edie-k]

Legally Ginger (Chapter 2)

Title: Legally Ginger

Chapter 2/9

Rating: PG-13 (I use fuck more than the MPAA allows for PG-13 but that's a stupid rule - there's no explicit content)

Pairing: Romione endgame

Summary: When Ron Weasley's college girlfriend declines his proposal because he doesn't meet her standard for future husband, he decides comes up with a plan to let her see him in a new light.

Notes: This is an AU Muggle reimagination of Legally Blonde. It's very different than anything I have ever written - and my first chapter story. I intend to update each Monday - although I'm slightly early due to commitments tomorrow.

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter has a character making a joke about an incident of sexual harassment they were the victim of. This is a line directly from the movie and is bolded to indicate it's not my original dialogue. Unlike the movie, the conduct is identified as harassment.

Shout out to TheKillerTigerBunny’s recent fic for inspiring a scene in the admissions video.

Thanks to adnei again for her feedback!

Read at AO3 or click below for more

Ron mindlessly shoved his hand back into the bag of chips next to him on the bed as he stared at the TV in the corner.

He had spent all day Sunday trying to compose the perfect text. The magic words that would bring her back. He composed dozens of drafts. Some were apologetic - clearly he shouldn’t have sprung an engagement on her but that didn’t mean they had to break up! Some were logical - there was almost a full semester of school left that they could spend together and see where they stood at graduation. Some were just pathetic - begging and pleading her for a second chance.

Finally, he decided to keep it simple.

can we please talk?

She responded.

it’s too hard to talk. I love you but that doesn’t mean this can work I’m sorry

He didn’t respond further. In the end, he couldn’t figure out how to fix what was wrong with him. There was no clear way to make himself worthy of Astoria.

So when the alarm went off Monday morning, he hit snooze. Then he hit it again. And again. And then he just turned it off for the next four days, only emerging from his room in the middle of the night to raid the pantry for more supplies. Apart from a few supportive texts from his siblings and friends, he’d been mostly left to wallow. Which could only mean that news of his humiliation had spread across campus and people were keeping their distance. He appreciated it but had a hunch his brothers’ patience would soon wear thin.

As if on cue, the door flung open.

“All right, Ron,” said Fred, barging in the room. “It’s been a week. Time to emerge.”

“Uh,” grunted Ron. Pig trotted in happily and jumped up on the bed next to Ron.

Fred paused and looked at the TV. “My God, are you watching NBC Sports Network? You need to snap out of it.”

Ron shrugged. “Lost the remote two days ago.”

George poked his head in the room before entering. “God, it reeks in here. And it better be beer in that bottle by your nightstand. Thankfully, we brought reinforcements.”

“Hey bro,” said Ginny, popping into the room. “It’s time to seize the day!”

“No,” he said flatly to his sister.

“Come on, you don’t want to blow off your classes. You’ve worked too hard to have to graduate in the summer semester. You want the celebrity commencement speaker, not whatever ancient associate dean they con into putting on a robe in August,” Ginny appealed.

“I’ve been emailing my assignments. It’s fine.”

“Well, this isn’t fine. Come on! I know what always cheers you up,” Ginny wheedled.

“Ehm,” Ron grunted, turning over.

“Please!” begged Ginny. “I need to blow off steam too.”

“I’ll buy you cheese fries,” George suggested.

“My own order,” Ron said.

“Yes,” agreed George.

“And beer,” Ron added.

“Goes without saying!” said Fred, yanking the covers off of him. “Shower and we’re off!”

****************************

Forty minutes later, he was moping under the umbrella shaded patio table outside of the batting cages, Pig at his feet, picking at his fries while his beer warmed in the sunshine. Fred and George were taking cracks off the pitching machine with a couple of his frat brothers and members of Ginny’s sorority that had tagged along.

“Come on,” said Ginny. “You need to hit something.”

“I’ll take the next one,” Ron replied listlessly.

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Girls, make him see reason,” she appealed to her sisters, who were seated next to him flipping through magazines. Ginny jogged off to join the others.

“Ron, Astoria is trash,” said Lavender.

“She is not!”

“She’s trash,” agreed Parvati. “Bougie trash.”

“I’m the one that’s clearly trash.”

“No, you’re a fucking straight up 9 and if I wasn’t in love with the moron taking 40 mile per hour softballs to the head - ” Lavender gestured at Seamus who was doing just that - “I would already be in your pants,” Lavender assured him.

“You’re a little too earnest for me, if I’m being honest,” said Parvati. “And you’re a dude, so no. But if you dated one of my friends, I wouldn’t tell her she could do better than you.”

“Yeah,” said Ron, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “Astoria, you should take me back. I’m not as good of a catch as a guy that tries to achieve CTE for fun but at least Parvati won’t shit talk me behind my back.”

The girls giggled. “Ron, I know it hurts that she didn’t feel the same about you but truly, you are better off. She was just flat out wrong. You’re smart, you’re accomplished, everyone likes you. She’s a snob looking for a certain name to hyphenate behind hers. Just like her sister,” Parvati insisted, pointing at the People magazine in front of her.

Ron peered over her shoulder. There was a color shot of Astoria’s sister Daphne, her hand ensconced in the hand of a dark haired man, walking the sidewalks of New York.

“Is that the Kennedy Taylor Swift dated?” asked Lavender. The two girls' voices faded in the background as he read and reread the caption.

Third year Princeton Law.

This is what Astoria was talking about. Her sister was dating some east coast prep school guy who went to a fancy university. In some ways, he got it. That need to live up to your siblings’ accomplishments or better yet, surpass them. He certainly felt it himself.

Bill, with his gorgeous French wife, was on the executive track at a financial firm. Charlie, with his easygoing personality, had somewhat accidentally launched a successful YouTube channel about his wildlife adventures in Asia. Percy, who had somehow managed to weather the civil servant storm and was on his third presidential administration at the IRS. Fred and George had their plans and Ginny knew she’d go early in the next National Women’s Soccer League draft if she didn’t opt to play soccer professionally overseas.

And Ron had had Astoria. The thought of a good life with a good job supporting an amazing and ambitious woman was exactly what he wanted. But she needed a little more. She needed someone that could prove they played at her level and bring a little flash and substance, like Daphne’s fiancé did.

He stared at the picture. Ron couldn’t get the Kennedy name. But he could wear a fucking rugby shirt and throw gel in his hair and...

“That’s it!” Ron shouted.

“What?” both girls asked, startled.

“I’m going to Harvard Law,” he announced.

Both girls stared. “Seamus, sweetie?” called Lavender. “Bring your batting helmet. He’s got some brain damage and we need to protect his skull from further harm.”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. So Astoria’s a little… materialistic and thinks about optics. Everyone Is flawed. And Lav, you said yourself that I’m a nine. How does law school, hell, Harvard Law School, not get me to a ten?”

“What’s going on?” asked Ginny. They’d abandoned the cages at Lavender’s call.

“I’m going to law school,” Ron announced proudly.

“Why?” asked George.

“Ron, no. You loved your internship. You have three job offers doing what you enjoy. This is fucking insane,” Fred insisted.

“You can’t give up free beer,” Seamus added.

“Maybe I’ll love law school,” Ron reasoned. “And if I don’t, I don’t have to finish. It’ll be enough to prove to Astoria I can get into Harvard - ”

“Harvard?” George asked.

“—And not embarrass her. The jobs I enjoyed have regulatory aspects to them so hey, a semester of law school can only help, right?”

“This is asinine,” Parvati said.

“Free beer,” whined Seamus.

“Holy shit,” cried Ginny, flashing her phone towards them. “Have you seen the cost of tuition?” She flashed it to George before Ron snatched the phone out of her hand.

“How the fuck are you going to pay for that?”

Ron cringed. “It’s not going to be my proudest moment. but I’ve got an idea.”

********************

“Hi, Auntie,” Ron said, as he followed the maid into the giant sitting room.

“Ronald,” Muriel greeted. They stood looking at each other awkwardly a moment. “Well, sit down. You,” she barked at the maid. “Bring us some drinks.”

“Right away, ma’am,” the maid scurried off.

Ron and his siblings came from fairly blue collar roots on both sides of the family. In fact, they were the first to attend college. The cost had made it out of reach for his mother and father to attend themselves. Mom’s brothers had planned to take advantage of the GI Bill but unfortunately were casualties of the first Gulf War. After that, Muriel had set up education trusts for her great niece and nephews with the $20,000 incentive. While his mom and dad had always refused any other financial help from Muriel, education was just too important to pass up.

Muriel had money to burn. Unbelievably, she’d been the trophy wife of an oil billionaire 35 years older than her back in her heyday and other than maintaining her estate, caring for at least 6 dogs at any given time and keeping a steady supply of brandy, she mostly just spent her money on controlling whatever family and non-profits she could sink her claws into.

“So,” said Muriel as the maid returned with a snifter of brandy for each of them. “I assume you’ve come for an advance on your graduation gift. When I saw your mother last month, she said things were quite serious between you and that Greengrass girl.”

“Uh, not exactly. See Aunt Muriel, I’ve had a change to my course of studies.”

“You’re almost done and NOW you realize that culinary arts will earn you pennies?”

“No,” he gritted his teeth. “Not culinary arts. It’s food science. It has to do with the biochemistry of food systems and preservation.”

Muriel snorted. “And you’ve decided that since pioneer women had canning figured out, there was nothing further for you to do.”

“Actually, I’ve decided to attend law school.”

“Law school?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Harvard Law.”

“You think you’re going to Harvard Law?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Why?”

“Why-why do I want to go?” Ron responded. He wasn’t sure if his reason would impress Muriel much.

“No, why do you think you’ll get in?”

It was a fair question. Before college, he had never been an over achiever. That had started with the CULA soccer coach coming to see Ginny play during the spring of her junior year. He’d joined the coach, his parents and Ginny at the house after the meet and delivered the disappointing news that the only event he’d qualified for in the district meet was the 3200 meter. While his family looked sympathetic, the coach smiled and said, “Yes, I’d expect that you’d be a great distance runner. My husband coaches cross country at CULA. Could I give him your name?”

No one had ever expected him to be great at anything.

He won the state title in his division for 3200 meter that year and went on to win the conference title twice at college.

And once he proved himself there, people expected he’d be good at chemistry and they expected he’d be a good president of the house and good at fundraising. And he was. Doing what he was expected to do worked.

But now, they all expected him to give up on the love of his life.

“Just… want to do the unexpected.”

“You know I’m on the board of the local humane society?”

“Uh, I guess,” said Ron. He was actually clueless to her old biddy affairs.

“I understand you raised $12,000 for us at the end of last year.”

“Me and the rest of the guys,” he answered.

“Violet Pullen led me to believe it was mostly your doing.”

Ron shrugged. “I was the one who knew how to brew the beer. And it wasn’t that hard to get the permissions to bottle it and sell it and stuff. The other guys got it promoted for the most part.”

Muriel looked at him appraisingly before she chuckled dryly. “Bring me an acceptance letter and I’ll cut a check.”

*************************

“What the hell is all this?”

Ron glanced up from the stack of study guides he was perusing to answer the twins. “LSAT study guides.”

Fred groaned. “Are you still on this?”

“Of course,” Ron said. “My advisor said I need like, a 173 on the LSAT to be seriously considered.”

“Why would they consider a food science major?”

Ron shrugged. “I have a 3.89 GPA. And Stori’s a philosophy major.”

“But that makes sense,” George said.

“How?” challenged Ron.

“Dunno. I guess because philosophy is a snob subject that’s totally useless without at least a graduate degree.”

Ron ignored them.

“And how are you paying for this?”

“Muriel will cover tuition if I get in. I’ll live at home this summer and I’ve got a couple technician jobs I can take that my degree makes me more than qualified for, plus some catering gigs. I figure that’ll be enough to get through the school year.”

“Ron,” Fred said. “Bro, you like your life. Why change it for some girl?”

“I’m getting fucking tired of this. She’s not some girl. I’m in love with her. She’s the one and I just need to show her I’m worthy of her.”

“You ARE worthy of her,” George insisted.

“Then it’ll be easy to prove, right?” said Ron.

The twins looked at each other and sighed.

“Here, take my lucky pencil for the exam. It helped me pass Spanish.” Fred held out the writing instrument to Ron.

“You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Trewlaney a lap dance,” George reminded him.

“Yeah. Luckily.”

“That’s sexual harassment,” said Ron.

“It is?” asked Fred.

“Yeah, it’s called quid pro quo. She should be fired for that.”

“Well hot damn, Ronnie,” said George. “Maybe you’re set for this law school stuff after all.”

“The exam is the least of my worries. I need a two page essay, professor recommendations, and a ‘personal statement’ of some sort. I’ve never been great at selling myself,” he admitted.

“Well Georgie,” said Fred with a grin. “Looks like you just found the subject of your senior marketing project.”

***************************************

“Well,” said Horace Michaels, rubbing his face and looking at his fellow panel members. “That was certainly something.”

“The video was a lot but… I like him,” said Veda Kasyor. “He’s a college athlete and president of his fraternity while carrying a high GPA.”

“Oh, is he an athlete Veda? Did the shirtless jogging footage tip you off?”

“He was also brewing beer in his frat basement.”

“He’s a food science major.”

“And he sold that beer on campus as a Humane Society fundraiser.”

“Who produced this video? Pretty heavy handed with the studying in the library footage,” Richard scoffed.

“He’s got a 3.89 GPA and he got a 177 on the LSAT. He probably studies.”

“Was he playing chess naked in the video?”

“It was his opponent who wasn’t wearing clothes - I believe it was strip chess.”

“If we’re looking for diversity - ”

“A white man’s not it.”

“Typically, no but he’s got, what, 6 siblings? Dad’s a mailman, Mom’s a parapro. He’s not some trust fund legacy case.”

“He had internships with two major corporations. And his resume shows part-time jobs since he was 16.”

“I’m concerned about his course of study. Food science is the hard sciences. Is he going to be equipped to handle position statements?”

“His personal essay was well-written and compelling, plus he minored in business. His Business Strategy prof had a glowing recommendation.”

“Ron Weasley… welcome to Harvard.”

[lost-n-stereo]

A/N: For anon who prompted me “Hallie+Sunshine”. Have a little 4th of July summer fic :)

and the sparks start flying (like the fourth of july)

She gets invited on a camping trip the first week of June, and when she says an invite she means that she quite literally received an e-vite from Helena through Facebook. There’s a group page and everything, with people RSVP’ing and talking about what alcohol they are going to bring and which campsites around the state are the best.

It’s not surprising to see the usual suspects on the list of people going. If Helena is setting it up that means that Luke is definitely going, since they are engaged and it’s just sort of a given. If Luke’s going then Clark and Jason will tag along with their girlfriends, and if the girls go then all of their friends will too. It’s a bit of a surprise to Allie though when she sees Harry RSVP and she kind of wants to comment on his post about how boat shoes aren’t generally camping attire but it feels shitty and she doesn’t want to be a dick for no reason.

The trip is planned for Fourth of July weekend, which is a little cliché but she doesn’t mind all that much. She orders a new tent off Amazon and an expensive pair of hiking boots because she’s not sure where exactly they are going yet but she feels like she should be prepared for anything. Becca calls her and asks if they should do some bathing suit shopping before the trip and they spend the day trying on different suits and drinking their daily calories in the form of food court smoothies.

It’s one of those rare times that the fourth falls on a weekend, so she takes the Friday before and the Monday after off from work and thanks the gods above that she works with a majority of older people that don’t care about the holiday weekend. They decided on a state park that has campgrounds that will fit all of them, she thinks it’s nearing twenty plus people going at last count, and a giant lake with tons of water sports and activities to do. She heard a rumor that someone rented out the entire stretch of sites on one side of the lake so they wouldn’t be bothered. No one said it was Harry but she can make an educated guess that was his doing.

There’s an honest to god party bus taking a large group of people to the lake but she decides to hitch a ride with Elle instead. The girl has a kick ass Jeep with no doors and it feels good flying down the highway with their camping gear piled high in the back and old school hip hop blaring out of the radio. Elle takes a sharp turn into the campground’s parking lot and Allie laughs as her body jerks out of the open door and her hair flies into her face as they jerk to a stop.

“You’re an absolute maniac,” Allie says on a laugh as they unbuckle their seat belts. “I fucking love it.”

Elle just flashes a grin and gets to work on unloading her tent from the back of the Jeep.

“Need some help?”

Allie rolls her eyes at the sound of Harry’s voice behind her and he’s grinning and eating an apple with a pocket knife when she turns around.

“I think we got it, thanks.”

He just shrugs, throws her a wink before heading over to where a group of people are unloading cases of beer out of the back of someone’s pickup. The parking lot is a madhouse. People are everywhere and Allie wonders in amusement if Helena is currently freaking out because there definitely were not this many RSVP’s in her Facebook group.

As if she conjured up the woman herself, Helena rushes up to Allie with a panicked look on her face. There are people Allie’s never seen falling out of backseats in fits of giggles, girls running around in barely there bikinis and dude-bros in board shorts lining up shots on the tailgate of a truck. It’s like a very cliché music video set to the sound of Post Malone pumping from someone’s car speakers.

“Are you seeing this shit?”

Allie laughs and reaches behind the seat for her backpack. “Yeah, it’s nuts. Who even are all these people?”

“Friends of friends,” Helena says, rolling her eyes as she takes a headcount. “There has to be over fifty people here already. It’s a good thing Harry rented so many campsites otherwise we’d be totally fucked.”

It’s the first confirmation she’s heard of Harry being the party benefactor but it doesn’t surprise her at all. He was always the one throwing giant parties in high school. His parents even rented an entire hotel for their senior prom, not just a banquet hall but the entire fucking thing.

“Let’s just be thankful no families with children will have to be in a tent next to that.” Allie points with her chin to where Lexie is currently pushed up against the side of a Suburban with a guy kissing down the column of her throat. “So much for a low key camping trip, ‘Lena.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Harry says, coming up to them with a Stella bottle hanging between his fingers. She wonders why he’s just randomly popping up when she knows his friends are here somewhere. Allie notices for the first time that he’s wearing flip flops, briefly stunned by the sight of his sort of bare feet. She’s not sure if she’s ever seen this man’s toes in the entire time they’ve known each other. The four years since high school have been good to him but that’s not a surprise. He has unimaginable wealth and a great job on top of that so she’s not shocked that he’s doing so well for himself so soon after graduating.

She went to school for accounting, ended up at a decent firm after graduating where the median age is mid forties, but she’s living in Brooklyn now which she loves and that’s what counts. Last she heard Harry was living in Manhattan but she doesn’t go that way often and someone like him probably wouldn’t be caught dead in her neighborhood.

Not that she cares or anything because what Harry Bingham does with his time has nothing to do with her.

“Better hope you get your deposit back,” Allie quips as she grabs a bottle of water out of her pack. Harry holds up his beer and asks if she wants one of her own. “No, Harry. It’s like nine-thirty in the morning. And don’t even say it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

Harry chuckles and takes a deep pull from the bottle. She shouldn’t think it’s sexy how he licks his lips after but well, it is. He smirks a little like he knows what she’s thinking and she rolls her eyes.

“I wasn’t going to,” he tells her. “I was just going to remind you that it’s Friday, you’re not at work at that stuffy job you go to every day, and it’s a fucking holiday. Enjoy yourself for once, Pressman.”

There’s not an ounce of heat in his words but it still cuts a little because she has fun, thank you very much. She might spend a lot of time in her studio apartment and she may only have a small group of good friends but she’s happy and that’s what matters. Helena just looks between them with her eyebrows raised, as if she’s waiting for world war three to start right there in the parking lot but Allie just shrugs, grabs the beer from his hand and chugs the rest of it before using her thumb to wipe foam from the side of her lip. Her heart pounds a little as Harry tracks the movement with laser focus and then she’s the one smirking, pushing the empty bottle into his chest.

“Looks like you need a refill.”

The absolute shock on his face makes her feel better than it probably should and Helena’s jaw is practically on the floor.

“Well played, Pressman.” Harry tilts his bottle towards her in what may be a show of respect and leaves again without a word.

“What the hell was that?” Helena presses when he’s out of earshot. Allie just shrugs, asks Helena if she’d mind helping her grab her tent out of the back of the Jeep so she can set up camp somewhere.

***

It’s dark when the real crazy stuff starts to happen.

There’s a group of people running around naked because someone thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in a national park. Allie is pretty sure there are supposed to be park rangers patrolling but she supposes it wouldn’t be hard for a certain someone to grease a few palms to keep them away for the night.

Speak of the devil…

“You look like you could use a drink.”

An ice cold White Claw drops into her lap and she gasps, her thighs bare since she’s just in a bikini top and denim cutoffs.

“What in the fuck, Harry!”

He just laughs, drops down beside her in a pair of bright orange board shorts and nothing else. “Just paying you back for that little stunt with my beer this morning.”

Allie rolls her eyes, pops the cap of the cocktail and drinks half of it in one go. “You deserved that. You’re always antagonizing me. Been that way since we were kids.”

“Bullshit,” he says but when she looks at him out of the corner of her eye he’s grinning a little, fingers playing with the string of his shorts. It’s fucking distracting. “Maybe I was flirting.”

Her cheeks heat a little but she knows Harry, has known him practically all her life. Maybe sometimes things he’s done could be considered flirting but that’s only because he flirts with everyone.

“I’m sure,” she says, finishing off the drink and tossing the can into a bin nearby designated for recycling. “Shouldn’t you be over there with your friends?”

“They aren’t as fun to fuck with as you are.” 

Allie points at him. “Ah! So you admit you like fucking with me!” 

There’s no denying his eyes go a little dark and then she’s wishing that she could take that back because now it just sounds dirty. She’s expecting a dirty comment in return but that’s not at all what she gets.

“Maybe I just like talking to you. Maybe…”

She tilts her head a little when he doesn’t continue. “Maybe what, Harry?”

His teeth scrape across his bottom lip a little as he thinks but then he shakes his head like he’s literally trying to erase a thought from his mind. He stands up abruptly, brushes a little dirt and sand off his board shorts and throws her a casual wink.

“It’s nothing. Have a good night, Al.”

***

She wakes up with the hangover from hell and finds herself cuddled in between Sam and Grizz.

“What the shit?”

Grizz mumbles a little, presses his nose into the back of her neck and she giggles. “Shhh, you’re so comfortable and my brain is heavy.”

It makes no sense at all but she also completely gets it because her brain feels heavy too. It’s hot as fuck in this tent, which she realizes now is not her own. She tries to piece together what happened after Harry left her the night before. Not that she got blackout drunk or anything but she did let Becca and Grizz talk her into Jägerbombs which are never a good idea.

Sam’s eyes blink open and then he smiles and it reminds her of the sleepovers they used to have as kids. She signs, asks him if he wants some coffee and he nods, so she gets up to go find the little brew pot that Helena said she was bringing.

She can see the row of little camp areas stretching all the way down to the end of the lake, each with its own barbecue and campfire area. Every site can fit three or four tents and the one she set her tent up in is shared with Grizz and Sam, Helena and Luke, and Becca. Grizz’s tent is huge with multi rooms and she knows it’s probably because he’s really into spending time outdoors, fishing and camping all over the state. What they are all doing this week borders somewhere on glamping, because she’s almost positive she saw someone set up portable solar panels to run some gaming station and a small television. 

There’s a pack of water bottles next to their makeshift “kitchen” by the campfire so she grabs one, empties it into the brew pot and waits for it to get hot so she can make coffee for her and her friends. Most of the campsites are quiet, which makes sense because it’s eight in the morning and the party raged until at least six this morning. When the coffee is ready she brings a cup to Sam, who puts a finger to his lips and nods to Grizz, who’s already passed out again. Allie grins, hands him the cup and signs have a good morning to him before quietly leaving the tent. 

“Top of the morning to you, Pressman.” 

Harry is helping himself to a cup of coffee from the pot and Allie rolls her eyes. “Don’t you have someone else to bug this morning, Bingham?” 

“I like bugging you more,” he says with a smirk and she doesn’t miss the way he doesn’t say maybe like he did the night before. It’s like he’s finally acknowledging the fact that he’s always trying to get under her skin. She used to think it was because he was annoyed by her but after last night she wonders if maybe she was wrong about that. “Cup of coffee?” 

Allie huffs and takes it from him. “I made that for me and my friends, if you couldn’t tell.” 

Harry puts on a fake pout, which makes his lips look really fucking good and she tries to ignore the little flutter in her stomach when she notices it. “I’m hurt, Al. I thought we were friends?” 

“Why are you even up this early?” She asks, ignoring the question of their friendship. It’s not that they aren’t friendly but they aren’t exactly hanging out on weekends either. Which...okay so she knows they are quite literally hanging out on a weekend right now but that doesn’t count. They have just always known each other, from him being in the same class all through school as Cassandra. She remembers one year when they were science partners and he was at their house once a week during the second semester to complete a project. Cassandra had complained about him being lazy and incompetent but Allie knows he put effort into it because she’d sometimes hang out in the kitchen while they worked and he was always putting in his own ideas just to have her sister throw them out. Which, if you know her sister, is par for the course on pretty much everything. 

“Work hours,” Harry says with a roll of his eyes. “No matter what I do or how late I stay up the night before I’m always up at sunrise. What about you?” 

“Same,” she admits. “I feel like a total bum if I sleep past ten.” 

They both laugh and she realizes they are actually having a conversation, even if it’s stupid and doesn’t really mean anything. But he’s not picking on her and she’s not throwing attitude back at his snark and it’s actually sort of nice. 

“So I hear we have a busy day this morning,” he says as he lowers himself into a folding chair that’s set up near the unlit campfire. “Helena has planned our day down to the minute, it seems.” 

Allie chuckles, pulls up a chair and sets it near him but where she can still see his face. “Sounds like my girl.” 

“Actually it’s my girl,” Luke says from behind her and they all laugh. “You made coffee? Allie, you’re a lifesaver.” 

When she looks at Harry she sees a little flash of disappointment in his eyes and she can’t help but wonder if it’s because it’s not just the two of them anymore.

She also wonders if the same look of disappointment flashes in her own eyes when Harry gets up, tells them he’s off to get ready for the day, and leaves her and Luke to wake up the rest of their friends. 

***

Her feet hurt. 

It was Helena’s idea to take a drive up the road to a hiking trail less than ten minutes away from the lake. And while Allie might have remembered to purchase new hiking boots what she forgot to do was break them in before wearing them. 

“You look miserable,” Harry comments as they move up the trail, which just seems to go up and up and up. He’s not even breaking a sweat and she sees well worn boots on his feet which surprises her. “When was the last time you went hiking?” 

“Um...never?” 

Harry chuckles and pulls her to the side, his hand on her arm as he guides her to a large rock just off the path. “Let me help,” he says, kneeling down in front of her and unlacing her boot. Helena passes by, eyebrows high, but Harry just waves her off, tells the group they will catch up. 

“What are you doing?” Her voice is far more breathless than she wants it to be but holy shit, Harry Bingham is crouched in front of her, picking up her sore foot delicately and placing it on his knee. 

“Helping,” he says simply as he unlaces her boot and works it off her right foot, followed by her sock. After repeating the same steps with her other foot, he places them gently on the ground before standing in front of her. “Lift your legs.” 

“Excuse me?” Her face flushes but he just smirks, grabs each foot and places them on his thighs with her knees together.

“You need to elevate your feet,” he explains as he positions her just so. “It’ll work, trust me.” 

They probably look ridiculous, him standing in front of her with a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes and his hair a ruffled mess and her perched on a rock with her feet on his legs. But he wasn’t wrong and after a few minutes she can feel the pain lessening by the second. 

“How long do I have to do this?” 

Harry looks down at his watch. “About fifteen minutes and we’ve been here for eight so get comfortable.” 

Allie laughs and tilts her head back. “You’re not sitting on the hardest rock known to man. My bony ass can’t handle this.”

“Your ass isn’t that bony,” he says but it’s not an insult, she can tell. It’s definitely a compliment, and a heated one at that.

“Spend a lot of time checking out my ass, Bingham?” 

Harry just shrugs, a little grin playing on his lips as he looks down at her. Her cheeks heat again and she rolls her eyes for something to do because she’s not exactly sure what to say back. The last thing she expected this morning was to be hiking with Harry, who’s apparently some sort of expert, and then have him basically admit to checking her out before. 

“We should catch up with everyone,” she says a few minutes later and he checks his watch again, nods and moves her legs carefully so she can put her shoes and socks back on. “Thanks,” she says quietly as she flexes her toes. “That really did help.” 

“You should trust me more often.” He puts a hand out for her to grab and she accepts, ignores the little electricity she feels when her skin touches his. It’s hard not to be attracted to someone like Harry, who exudes confidence in everything that he does. And he’s obviously not bad to look at even though he dresses like a future senator eighty percent of the time and wears his cockiness like a badge. He just keeps showing her these little sides of personality that she’s never seen before and frankly, it’s hard to ignore. 

They make up time quickly, thanks to Harry’s hiking skills and her mostly refreshed feet. When they reach the others everyone is standing at the top of the little mountain they just climbed, eyes focused on something in the distance. 

“What is everyone looking at?” Allie asks no one in particular but stops short with a little gasp when she takes in the view they are all gaping at. The entire lake is visible from their viewpoint, the crystal blue water shimmering in the mid afternoon sun. She can see their side of the lake, with people milling around the sites like little ants. There are boats pulling people on water skis and tons of water crafts making waves for people in floating inner tubes. The lake is surrounded by trees on three sides and Allie thinks it might be one of the most beautiful views she’s ever seen in real life. 

“This is breathtaking,” she says, mostly to herself, but then she feels a hand bump hers as Harry steps up next to her. 

“It sure is,” he says quietly, his eyes sliding from the view before them to her face and then back again. His pinkie touches the side of her hand just barely and the idea to reach over to hold his hand is sudden and unexpected. She doesn’t do it but she finds that she wants to and that confuses her even more.

***

“Fifty bucks says I can chug this entire bottle of Jack in under a minute!” 

Allie rolls her eyes as she passes by a group of guys that she went to high school with, all of them former jocks and not so bright. 

“Pretty sure fifty bucks isn’t going to be enough to get your stomach pumped,” she tosses back in their direction before heading towards the campfire that’s currently warming the majority of her friend group. 

After the hike they spent the day in the water, swimming and riding around on the Jet Skis that Helena had brought for the weekend. Harry offered to rent a boat to take them out but the boats were all rented out by the time they made it back to the lake.

“Tomorrow then,” he had said, dropping his credit card on the counter and winking at the girl making the reservations. Allie’d rolled her eyes and Harry had just laughed and winked at her too.

It’s hard not to notice that he looks really good right now, sitting by the fire with a bottle of beer hanging from his fingertips, his skin perfectly tanned from being in the sun all day. He’s wearing board shorts again but he finally put a shirt on, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It annoys her that he can make anything look good. 

The little smile he gives her when she walks up to the fire pit is almost too much to handle. 

“Need a drink?” Becca asks, pushing a wine cooler into her hand before she can even answer. Allie laughs, thanks her and lowers herself into a chair that just happens to be next to Harry. He smirks a little around the mouth of his beer but doesn’t comment on where she chose to sit down. 

“When do the fireworks start?” She asks Helena, who checks her watch before pointing towards the west of the lake, where there’s no trees and wide open skies. 

“They will be over there in about an hour,” she says. “They won’t be super close because they are technically lit in town but we’ll see the show pretty clearly.” 

They sit around for the next forty minutes drinking and laughing around the fire. Luke and Clark decide to have a rock skipping competition and Allie laughs as everyone scurries around to find the perfect flat rock to enter. Right before the fireworks are about to start Harry nudges her, leans over so he’s almost whispering in her ear.

“Want to find somewhere quiet to watch the show?” 

Everyone around them is either drunk, searching for rocks or both, and no one is paying attention when she nods, stands up and tells him to lead the way. 

They walk side by side next to the lake heading away from the party that’s already raging despite the fact that it’s barely ten at night. Allie practically chokes when they pass a couple full on having sex against a tree and Harry laughs, steers them away from the obnoxious moaning and towards an empty spot on the beach. 

“I should have bought a blanket,” he complains as he settles in the sand and Allie smiles as she drops down next to him. 

“A little sand never hurt anyone. Don’t be a baby.” He quirks an eyebrow at her and she giggles, which she only does when she’s this side of perfectly drunk. 

Harry is quiet as he pulls his knees up and sits with his arms dangling in between them. “You’ve been different today,” he says so softly she can barely hear him. “More like you used to be.” 

“What does that mean?” She’s sitting cross legged and stays that way as she turns so she’s facing him. He just shrugs which makes her roll her eyes. “You’ve been different too.” 

“Oh yeah?” He asks with a raised eyebrow and she nods. “How so?” 

She snorts, leans back on her hands which makes her knees touch the side of his leg. “If you’re not going to tell me, why should I tell you?” 

“What are we, twelve?” He says on a laugh and she shrugs, giving him a dose of his own medicine. He sighs, like it’s a total inconvenience to explain something that he started anyways. “You were fun. Carefree.” 

“It was a good day,” she says and he nods. “And you were flirting with me, which is new.” It’s a bold statement because maybe he wasn’t, maybe it was just like all the other times when he was flirty because he’s Harry Bingham and that’s just how he is. He charms, it’s in his DNA. 

Harry scoffs a little and shakes his head like she’s missing something. “Me flirting with you is not new, Allie.” 

The way he says her name does something to her, the way she can see his tongue when his mouth forms the word. They aren’t saying anything, just staring at each other when the first boom of fireworks sounds off overhead. Neither of them startle or even really acknowledge the show going off above them. She likes the way the colors flash across his face, bright blue and neon pink, and before she realizes what’s happening he’s leaning forward, pressing his lips against hers quickly in a surprisingly gentle and innocent kiss. 

He pulls away first, rests his forehead on hers with a little smile playing on his face. 

“What was that?” The words are practically whispered, breath feather light over almost touching lips. 

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t go to kiss her again, just smiles softly before pulling away.

Allie smiles too and pulls away, rests her hands behind her in the sand and settles in to watch the show.

***

“Where did you run off to last night?” 

The campsites are stirring the next morning with activity as everyone wakes up after the sun is high and the weather is warm. Helena is sitting by the campfire, a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other. 

“I went for a walk,” Allie says carefully, not sure if she should say anything about what happened with Harry or not. They only shared one little kiss, and while it was wildly romantic with the fireworks sounding off above them, she’s not quite sure where they go from here. “What are you up to?”

Helena holds up her phone. “Trying to secure our boat for the day online. Harry already gave his credit card information to the rental place, I’m on hold.” 

It’s then that Allie can hear the hold music playing quietly from Helena’s phone which is on speaker mode. Allie snorts when she recognizes the song, some piano version of a top 40 hit, and pours herself a cup of coffee. 

A few minutes later a woman’s voice comes over the line, letting Helena know that she’s secured a boat for them that they can pick up in an hour. Helena thanks the woman and ends the call, stands up and wipes sand from the back of her shorts. 

“This place is too fucking sandy,” she says and Allie laughs into her coffee mug. “I’m going to start rounding up the usual suspects. You’re in, right?” 

Allie nods. “Definitely. I’ll get ready and meet you back here at ten.” 

She finishes up her drink and heads to her tent to get ready for the day. There are two options for swimming suits, the one she wore yesterday which was bright blue and white, perfect for the fourth. But she decides on the flashier suit she’d purchased just because it was beautiful in the store and she couldn’t help herself. She slides on a pair of denim shorts and throws a sun hat on for good measure. She’s just finished applying sunscreen when a throat clearing at the tent’s entrance makes her jump. 

“Jesus, Allie.” 

Harry is standing there, one fist up to his mouth as he takes her in from head to toe. And now she knows this bathing suit was worth the price tag because he’s looking at her like he never has before. 

“That suit..” 

Allie laughs quietly and looks down at the top, a white ruffled halter top embellished with gold jewels that sit right under her breasts. There’s an additional piece connected to the bottoms that wraps around her middle that is purely for show, the gold jewels trailing down her stomach to meet the top of her shorts. With her recently tanned skin the stark white of the suit pops, making her look even more sunkissed. 

“You like?” She asks with a cocked eyebrow and Harry nods slowly as he takes her in.

He looks around outside quickly before stepping into her tent. “That is by far the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says when he’s right in front of her. She inhales sharply when he gently touches the jeweled piece on her tummy. He’s making her feel all kinds of things and he’s not even touching her skin. 

“I’m glad you like it,” she says breathlessly and it makes him smile. Feeling a little bold she pushes up closer to him, leans up so she can whisper in his ear. “Wait until you see the rest of it.” 

Harry lets out a little groan that makes her giggle as she pushes past him. She’s not exactly sure why she’s being so bold, or flirty at all for that matter, but it’s like their kiss from the night before has unlocked something she didn’t really know how to admit before. 

She sort of likes him.

Half an hour later she’s got a beer in her hand as the boat floats lazily along the lake. It was big enough for a fairly large group of people and they are everywhere, laughing and drinking like it’s not before noon on a Sunday. Helena and Luke are talking quietly and kissing in a corner and Allie finds herself wishing for the first time in a long time that she had someone in her life to giggle and kiss whenever she wanted. 

“They are disgustingly in love, don’t you think?” 

Harry chooses that moment to drop down beside her, his chin nodding towards the engaged couple. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Allie says, her eyes taking in Harry’s board shorts and bare chest. A pair of Ray Bans cover his eyes as he lays down in the lounge chair next to hers and gets comfortable. He rests his phone face down on his stomach and Allie snorts. “You’re going to get a weird tan if you leave that there.” 

Harry just smirks and glances at her suit. “You’re one to talk, Pressman” 

Allie just shakes her head with a laugh. “I lathered myself up in sunscreen before we left. I think I’ll be okay.” 

Harry shifts in his chair and gives her a heated look. “I know, I saw.” 

She remembers him coming in after she put on her sunscreen, wonders how long he was standing there before he cleared his throat.

“Perv,” she says with a smile to show him she’s not mad and he laughs, a bright and loud sound that makes a few people look their way.

They spend the day eating, drinking and playing in the lake. By the time they dock she’s perfectly buzzed, warmed by the setting sun and the margaritas Elle made for the girls on the boat. 

“Let’s party!” Clark yells as he jumps into the sand and Allie rolls her eyes as everyone cheers as if that’s not what they’ve been doing all day. But it is their last night here so she follows her tipsy friends through the campsites until they arrive back at hers, which is apparently party central tonight.

Someone turns on music and Billie Eilish starts playing, a thumping bass beat that has everyone up and dancing around the now lit campfire. Elle stumbles up to her, a wide grin splitting her face, and Allie knows the girl is definitely tequila wasted right now which means she’s probably feeling on top of the world.

“Dance with me!” 

Allie laughs and lets Elle pull her into the crowd of people dancing to “Bad Guy” like it hasn’t been on the radio for the past two summers. She turns when she feels eyes on her, sees Harry sitting on the tailgate of Luke’s truck. His eyes are following her every move, and he doesn’t look away as he takes a pull from the long neck bottle in his hands. Even from this far away she can feel her skin heat when he licks his lips, eyes fixed on her like he doesn’t see anyone else. 

“Dude, I think Harry likes you!” Elle yells over the music and Allie stills, tears her eyes away from him to face her friend. 

“What makes you say that?” 

Elle shrugs, which looks ridiculous because she’s drunk dancing all over the place. “He hasn’t stopped looking at you since we got here. Go talk to him.” 

Allie pales, looks around to see if anyone is listening to this conversation. It’s not that she really cares what anyone thinks, and he has been flirting with her more than usual. But he’s a known womanizer and it honestly scares her a little to think that maybe this is just the norm for him. Flirting with a girl until he gets what he wants and where will she be then? In a surprisingly sober move Elle puts her hands on Allie’s shoulders and looks her in the eye. 

“Stop being afraid, Al.” 

Allie takes a deep breath and nods, stands up taller and squares her shoulders back as she heads to where Harry’s sitting. 

His eyebrows go up a little in surprise when she stops right in front of him, practically standing in between where his legs are open and dangling off the tailgate. 

“What are we doing, Harry? You kiss me last night and then never mention it, and now you’re watching me like…” 

“Like what?” He asks when she doesn’t finish her sentence and she melts a little at the deep and husky tone of his voice. “Tell me, Allie.” 

“Like you want to do it again and never stop.” 

He lets out a little breath of surprise as she steps in between his legs and leans up to kiss him. When he doesn’t immediately return the kiss she sort of panics but then he’s sliding down off the tailgate and pulling her into his arms to deepen the kiss. It’s not like the sweet kiss from the night before, it’s raw and full of emotion, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip until she’s weak in the knees. 

There are hoots and hollers around them as he continues to kiss her but she doesn’t care. Maybe it’s the faint tequila buzz she’s still feeling or maybe it’s just how drunk she’s getting off this kiss, the taste of expensive beer on Harry’s lips as he sips at her lips her right there in front of their friends. 

“Maybe we should rejoin the party,” he murmurs against her lips several minutes later and she smiles, reaches for his hand and pulls him in the direction of his tent one campsite over. 

“Maybe we should have our own?” 

He practically growls in agreement and follows behind her as she makes her way through the crowd. Elle winks her as they pass and Allie just grins, turns around to see Harry’s eyes lit up with alcohol and want, as they make their way over to his tent. 

***

The lake is quiet when she steps down to the shore the next morning. It’s still early, everyone getting some much needed rest after the debauchery of the night before. Even from Harry’s tent, where they spent the night making out (plus a little more) and talking until neither could keep their eyes open, they could hear the party raging from the next campsite over.

“Morning, Pressman.” 

Allie smiles when Harry comes up behind her, puts his arms around her waist and drops a kiss to her temple. “Good morning to you too.” 

“I didn’t like waking up alone,” he admits quietly. “I fell asleep with you in my arms, kinda wanted to wake up like that too.” 

The sentiment is sweet and it makes her heart beat furiously in her chest. “What happens next, Harry?” 

He kisses her cheek. “What do you mean?” 

Allie sighs, turns around in his arms so she can look up at him. “I mean, we’re on vacation. This weekend has been fun but what happens in two hours when it ends?” 

“Then we don’t let it end,” he says simply. “You swear like Brooklyn and Manhattan are two separate planets. We can do this, Allie. I want to.” 

She inhales sharply, surprised by how earnest his words are. “You do?” 

Harry rolls his eyes a little and chuckles. “Allie, I’ve liked you since high school. This shouldn’t be such a shock.” 

“I didn’t know,” she says but maybe she just missed it. Maybe all the flirting, every time he randomly joined in a conversation, maybe it wasn’t him being a womanizer. Maybe he really did just like her. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Honestly?” He asks and she rolls her eyes as if to say duh. “It just never felt like the right time. You were younger, your sister hated me. One of us was always dating someone else. And then life, you know?” 

She nods because she does know. “Well I’m glad you told me now. But I do have issue with one thing that you said.” 

His eyebrows dip together. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

Allie smiles as she leans up to kiss him. “Manhattan and Brooklyn are like two different planets.” 

Harry laughs and wraps his arms around her, dropping kisses from her mouth to her shoulder and then back up again. 

“Guess we’ll just have to compromise,” he says, turning her around so they can watch the sun shine on the still water of the lake. “Some nights at my place, some nights at yours.” 

“Sounds perfect.”

She settles back into his arms, enjoying the way the sun warms her face as it rises high in the sky, welcoming the new day.

[aarafox]

super detailed oc questions for at least em, bella, robin, freylic: 5, 4, 9, 15, 22, 38 (u can answer for others too if u wanna but i wanna know at least for those four!! ^^)

Ahh, fun!! I’ll put it under a read more bc it’s gonna be long ^^ thanks so much for asking! ❤️❤️

OC asks

Emily

4: What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

She has a good relationship with her parents! They’ve always been close and can talk about pretty much everything. She has a few really good memories of her parents helping her figure out her powers; since she has so many, it was always a wild ride discovering how each one worked. Some really fun things happened when they helped her, like she accidentally splashed water in her dad’s face and accidentally created a small pit that her mother fell into. She never actually hurt them though, which is why she can think back to those moments with fondness.

However those powers came with a downside: because there were so many, her energy level was always really high. She fainted several times as a child, immensely worrying her parents. When they brought her to the Tree of Healing they were told that Em’s body just needed time to get used to the energy, but knowing there was nothing they could do to help her made them feel really bad. The last time it happened was when she was ten years old so it’s been a while, but her parents will always be afraid that something happens that’ll make her faint again (which may or may not happen in the story…).

5: Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

She’s an only child!

9: Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

I guess they do! Em really loves animals though she doesn’t engage with many. But she finds them cute and lovely and they enjoy her company and attention.

15: Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

She doesn’t cook very often, usually only with her family or friends (which she loves doing!!). She’s not particularly good at it but she has a few recipes that she’s absolutely owned. On top of this she’s always willing to learn more, and when she receives instructions on how to help make something she’s certain to follow them without fault. People generally like what she makes. ^^

22:  What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

She doesn’t often insult people, but when she does she probably only uses “idiot” or “stupid”. She only insults people when they are being absolute morons or just plain assholes. She doesn’t shy away from a fight though she doesn’t enjoy having them. She’d only bitch about people behind their backs when they truly deserve it.

38: What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

She admires people really quickly! But not in a jealous kinda way. She’s truthfully excited when someone’s good at something and will support them a lot. Her best friend Lucy is a master in a particular martial arts form and Emily wishes she could fight as well as her friend! But mainly she’s just really proud that Lucy’s such a great fighter.

Bella

4: What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

She has a good relationship with her dads (I don’t really like writing family drama so most families I write are close or at least somewhat loving). She inherited her bubbly character from one of the two, which is why they vibe really well. Good memories were made when her dads took her and her sister to the annual feasts held in the city! Her dads know a lot of things and were great storytellers, so she loved listening to everything they told her about the city. Once she was old and independent enough, she went to those feasts with her friends.

One particularly bad memory happened when she was pretty young. She got angry and accidentally used her powers, nearly hitting her dads. Though no one was hurt that day, she’ll never forget the terrified expressions on their faces. She’ll always feel guilty about it, but they reassured her many times that it was alright and so she’s learned to let it go.

5: Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

She has an older sister named Zellány. Though she has an alright bond with her sister, the two girls don’t always completely see eye-to-eye, and this is purely because they’re very different. Bella has magic, Zella doesn’t; Bella is extremely extroverted, Zella is way more introverted; Bella doesn’t really like stuyding, Zella loves it, is good at it and can be a bit of a know-it-all bc of it; Bella can be a scaredy-cat while Zella doesn’t get what she’s afraid of sometimes. They used to be closer as kids but their differences became a bit too big for them to get along too well. Though they care for each other a great deal!! Zella expresses her worries for Bella’s wellbeing and when Zella is hurt in one of the battles Bella can’t stop crying.

9: Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Bella LOVES animals herself, but her excitement can chase them away sometimes :’)

15: Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

She’s… not that good at cooking haha, she’s screwed up several recipes in the past but there are a few small things she can make well. It’s safer when she isn’t the one in control of dinner lmao, but when she’s assisting someone things won’t go wrong, probably.

22:  What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

She loves to use “piss beetle” lol. Bella doesn’t shy away from confrontation and can be really fiery especially to people who hurt her friends. She also won’t mind bitching about someone behind their back as long as she isn’t friends with them. Bella’s strength when it comes to standing up for herself or her friends is pretty admirable, though she can go a bit too far sometimes and say things she doesn’t really mean; her friends need to calm her down when that happens.

38: What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Bella doesn’t really think about it very deeply, but in insecure moments she can wish she had her sister’s intelligence or her friends’ bravery. She doesn’t really specifically admire certain aspects of people, but she does admire people generally.

Robin

4: What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Robin also has a good relationship with his parents! His moms are incredibly king and basically taught him how to treat the world with kindness (though it would’ve likely come naturally to him as well). He looks up to his moms and greatly admires them. He has great memories of strolls through the city during which they played with him and taught him about the world, and of course the birth of his little brother was a great memory too.

One bad memory was when one of his moms was working so hard that she was barely home, which greatly saddened his other mom. When the first mom came home at some point and basically collapsed from exhaustion, it was up to Robin and his magical power to make her better. From that moment on his mom took it more easily and it didn’t happen again, but he doesn’t like remembering that day.

5: Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

He has a little brother named Piag. He’s an adorable little shit haha, and is so good at deciphering Robin that it can annoy his older bro. The two generally get along well, but Piag is pretty stubborn and can be really outspoken about his opinions, sometimes treating Robin a bit harsher than necessary. But Piag has the power of Emotions and can accurately sense when his words actually hurt Robin, so he can make it up to him immediately. Robin isn’t easily hurt by Piag’s words, though, they’re good for each other! But Robin can be a bit too concerned about Piag’s wellbeing; when the little boy feels too many negative emotions, he can fall really ill. That’s why Robin is a bit overprotective, which annoys Piag to no end.

9: Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Probably! He’s a kind fella. But he doesn’t really engage with animals a lot to know for sure.

15: Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

He’s good at cooking, but he’s better at baking! Since they were young, Robin and Piag have baked many kinds of pies so he’s become a really skilled baker. You can be sure though that whenever he cooks something, it will turn out well too.

22:  What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

He doesn’t really insult others, though he can get really mad at people when they hurt his loved ones. In those cases he’ll bring rhetoric to bring people down. He also rarely bitches about someone behind their back, unless it’s 100% deserved. He’s prone to get a bit upset with his loved ones when they don’t take good care of themselves; his behaviour can come across as anger but it’s really pure concern.

38: What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Like Emily, Robin admires others easily! He doesn’t usually wish he had other people’s talents; he knows he’ll likely never be as good at things as others and he has peace with that. Though he probably wishes he was a better singer :D

Freylic

4: What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Of all the OCs you asked me, Freylic probably has the least close bond with his parents. This is because he’s the prince of the planet and his relationship with his parents has become more professional than personal. He doesn’t really mind it, though I can imagine he sometimes wishes it were different. His good memories come from the times they travelled together and met many subjects. Bad memories were formed when meeting his pushy family members who wouldn’t leave him alone. His upbringing was a bit restricting so he often tried to escape the palace or family gatherings, which led him to meet the two people he became closest with: his best friend Lucy and his to-be boyfriend Din.

5: Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

He’s an only child!

9: Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Animals LOVE Freylic, like seriously. But he’s an angel so he attracts people as well as all kinds of creatures. They love following him everywhere lol. Maybe I should give him a majestic pet of some kind! It’d suit his character!

15: Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

He doesn’t really cook much! But when he does, it’s probably alright. He prefers eating other people’s cooking so that he can compliment them on their culinary skills and make them happy that way.

22:  What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

He doesn’t insult people fjshbd I wonder if he even knows how! If he were to insult anyone, it’d be his teachers in the past or his parents, but his insults would be really lame and not hurtful at all haha. Now he doesn’t even think of insulting anyone, let alone bitch behind their backs.

38: What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Freylic has a lot of admiration for basically everyone he meets, because everyone has a story to tell and their own struggles they need to overcome or have overcome. There’s not much he wishes for, though (and this isn’t really a talent) he sometimes wonders what it would be like to not be the prince and be a normal Neflora like the others. This becomes especially strong when he falls in love with Din and wonders whether it’d be easier to be together if he wasn’t the prince. (Everything works out perfectly though!)

Oof, that was a long one ^^ hope you like the answers ❤️ I accidentally deleted them the first time and had to start all over again D:

[aubrey-plaza]

I've seen a lot of fic rec lists lately given everything happening. Do you have any recommendations to get us through the lock down? p.s. I love everything you write.

omg thanks anon!!

I know these are scary times so have here a quick and dirty list of my fave fics starting with Staubrey and then just... veering offcourse. They’re all femslash except the one I marked with an asterisk but yeah. 

as always, I’m not gonna rec my own fics on my this list bc that’s cheating but if you wanna read them pls click this link and that ends the self promo for today lmao

 recs under the cut!

Stacie x Aubrey

Snowbound  

by ACamp_toner / @stepintotherevolve​ (22.171, complete, rated E)

summary: The Bellas go on a ski trip and Staubrey happens

notes: this has amazing smut and features just enough jealousy to spark these two idiots into a meaningful talk. there’s also side bechloe and a healthy dose of humour.  

The Howl

by @tiny-maus-boots​ (30.739, wip/currently being written, AU)

summary: Stacie's pack is forcing her into a corner but Fate has other plans for her - if she doesn't die first.

notes: werewolf!Stacie and vampire!Aubrey who meet on a full moon and fuck. there’s more to it and a great backstory that’s being wonderfully developed (trust me, I’ve been told of the plans and I’m ri-ve-ted). also has some amazing soft moments and a fab spark of heat.  

Prelude in Lydian Mode

by knappster / @ss-staubrey​ (5972, complete)

summary: Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of always.

notes: I will rec this fic til the day I die. It’s such a lovely brand of staubrey and a perfect example of the idiots to lovers trope.  

and the songbirds are singing (like they know the score)

by angelranger (2326, complete)

summary: It came as a slight surprise to Stacie that Aubrey, the same Aubrey who had grown up in a strict and dysfunctional household, was just so good with her daughter.

Bella seemed to unearth a side of Aubrey that was just so unbelievably soft, a side Stacie is almost positive even Aubrey didn’t know existed. But there she is, sat on the carpeted floor in front of the coffee table, sat right next to Bella, drawing outlines for the four year old to colour in.

notes: oh god i love a good, soft bella fic and this one hits all the right notes. it’s sweet and lovely and features singing Bella to sleep which is like. my weakness. go leave some more love on this deserved fic!

Sansa x Margaery

The Crackpots and These Women

by Netgirl_y2k (8089, complete, WEST WING AU)

summary: "You're in charge of press relations," Yara told Margaery, gesturing to Sansa. "Relate.”

summary: yeah you read that fuckin right that’s a West Wing AU. My love for this mashup has no bounds. It’s so perfectly coy, the way I imagine adult Sansa and Margaery would be, combined with the hopeful tinge of WW, and the pining of a somewhat open ended yet hopeful finish. If you like either of these universes, read this.  

Kind Regards

by MsCFH / @hell-much (9835, complete, explicit, part of a series!)

summary: Margaery Tyrell is determined on setting foot in the Northern market of Westeros by establishing a collaboration between the Tyrell Corporation and Stark Incorporated.

The only problem? The likewise gorgeous and stubborn Deputy Managing Director Sansa Stark.

summary: holy hell this fic is amazing. they hate each other SO MUCH. the author has a vibe setting skill that makes me want to weep. the smut is off the charts hot like there are literally no words. go read it and then read the series bc it’s *that good*. please go get your church lady fan before reading because you WILL need it.  

EXTRA NOTE: same author is writing a post-s6 canon compliant fic where Marg is actually still alive and if you’re looking for a full weekend activity, go ahead and binge this one (it’s a wip but is still being updated)

lay all your love on me

by 1once (9498, complete, show-compliant)

summary: It has been eight years since her demise.

But for the world of her, she cannot figure out why. For what? Why was she alive?

notes: i will say just one thing: flower. magic. okay, i’ll say more things. this fic is the redemption show!marg deserved combined with the fun supernatural magicky aspect of flower magic that’s just so in character. reading this fic feels the way a warm cup of tea in your hands on a cold winter’s day does.  

til you come back home

by heart_nouveau (7978, complete, AU - modern setting)

summary: “Using one-night stands to distract myself from my crush on my roommate counts, right?”

-

Margaery Tyrell is an ambitious law student who needs a perfect grade point average if she wants to stay at the top of her class - and she is not going to throw that away by falling for her very attractive, very sweet roommate, one Sansa Stark.

notes: margaery is a moron with feelings aka my favourite type of character.  

Birds of Prey’s Dinah x Helena

Siren Call

by ThanksForListening (3300, complete, part 2 of a series) 

summary: "It always happened in the quiet moments. The early hours of the morning, when the leftover energy from a mission hadn’t quite disappeared yet. The sleepless nights, when memories clawed their way into her mind and wouldn’t let go until her screams released them. The lazy afternoons, when the radio played softly and melodies she’d almost forgotten danced around her lips. It was only when the world went still that Dinah felt her watching.

She didn’t remember the first time she noticed it. The staring. Maybe it was because Helena was always watching everything and everyone around them that Dinah didn’t realize how frequently that attention fell on her. How it felt different. Helena looked at the world with suspicion and anger and indifference, but not her. She looked at her with something much softer, something she hadn’t found a name for just yet. No word in her arsenal was deep enough or strong enough to describe it.

Whatever it was, she could feel it now.”

notes: gahhhhh this fic. “What do you see,” she finally asked, “when you look at me?” is a line that I’m gonna think about until the day I die. this is the second fic in a series and you can read it as a standalone but the first fic is also fuckin amazing

after the afterparty

by novoaa1 (1181, complete, set right after the movie ends)

summary: The Canary had let loose a delighted snort at that, as if she found the whole thing somehow laughable.

(Which it wasn’t, to be clear—laughable, that is.)

“Are y'all seeing this shit?” she’d turned to ask the rest of them, earning a giddy squeal from Harley and a bemused scoff from Montoya even whilst Helena remained stock still in place, dutifully blinding herself with one hand. “Absolutely adorable.”

“Shut up,” Helena had hissed back more out of instinct than anything else, though her tone was markedly devoid of any real anger.

(And if Helena had felt her cheeks flush ever so slightly beneath her palm at the Canary’s glib assertion, she certainly didn’t let on.)

Or: Sionis falls. The rest of them remain.

notes: just. read it.  

knew your love (before i kissed you)

by z0ejake / @zxyjxy (58.263, wip / currently being written, rated E for the last chapter)

summary: Surviving the massacre of your entire family at the age of eight is a pretty impressive feat. Training for fifteen years in Sicily until you can kill a man with one hand and a hairpin is also a pretty impressive feat. Returning to the city where your family was cut down and killing every single person involved in their deaths is maybe the most impressive feat. Somehow, it's never been enough for Helena.

notes: bro this fic is a masterpiece and zoe is a genius. features absolute moron feral dumb jock helena and my favourite version of dinah: patient and endeared and a little teasing.  

the war is over (and we are beginning)

by ace_verity (12.573, 5/5, complete)

summary: The thing is, Helena has no idea what comes after.

The past fifteen years, she’s had a singular goal. She's never given any thought to what she’d do once she killed the men who murdered her family in front of her.

Maybe, Helena realizes, she never actually thought she’d make it this far.

—

In which Helena Bertinelli joins a team, buys a cactus, beats up criminals, goes to church, bakes bread, and falls in love.

(Not necessarily in that order.)

notes: this fic is beautiful and perfectly explores a lost Helena. I also love the way Renee is written in this and the whole vibe of the story is just *chefs kiss*

cheap shampoo

by OfElvesAndAliens (1609, complete)

summary: The thing is, Helena is a rigidly focused kind of gal, iron rage forged into skilled precision. Dinah has also noticed it in the little things, like the way she frowns a bit when she's doing something as trivial as writing, her penmanship always neat and firm. That same tiny furrow of her brow is showing up again while she's methodically whisking some eggs in a bowl.

Dinah finds it cute. Fucking sue her.

notes: oh god but i love a bedsharing fic and this one? feeding and post-mission and just winding down together??? ohhhh my god

two extra random goodies just for fun:

Lamplighter

by the_years_between_us (116.915, wip, rated E)

show/ship: The Fall, Stella Gibson/Reed Smith

summary: Stella gets a call from Reed directly following the final episode of The Fall S3.

notes: this is one of only a handful of wips that I’m keeping up with and reading constantly. It’s written like goddamn poetry and I love an older ship with more baggage, because the emotions here run so much higher with their shared history and the tentative steps they’re trying to take. Also, given the source material, this is almost cathartic to read.  

Nothing to Lose*

by tielan (8013, complete, rated E)

fandom/ship: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Maria Hill/Steve Rogers

summary: “It’s one of the traditional rituals of manhood,” Natasha observes as they’re sparring. “Kill a man, fuck a woman.”

notes: listen. i know. okay? i know this seems like a crackship. but I love it SO MUCH and this author writes so well that I’ve been fully converted. ~something some of you have told me I do for you~ so go read this fic, and then read the others, and then fall in love and join me in this lonely ship. You won’t regret it.  

I’ll be writing while in isolation so if you have any Dinah/Helena or Stacie/Aubrey prompts, shoot ‘em my way!

and also hit me up for anything, as always. 

peace and love, and stay safe everybody!

[what-if-isimply-didntgive-ashit]

This weeds so sticky (First chapter repost, Tyrus au)

Making friends is hard.

Like seriously it shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t be hard for two people or even a group of people to sit down and begin a friend ship. Especially if they have similar interests.

But of course like everything in life people have complications. Whatever they are they exist. And it seems like Saltwater had an overpopulation of people with the same kinds of complications.

Not really knowing what they were doing with their lives. Thus not knowing how to be welcoming figures in someone else’s.

That’s why we left. By we I mean me and my best friend’s, Lester and Reed. My name’s Tj and when I was 15 I joined a small motorcycle gang. Or well that’s a lie.. I started the gang, don’t tell Reed that though.

You see Reed, Lester, and me all had the same kind of complications, so we fit together like puzzle pieces. We’re the family we’ve never known in other’s. My dad died when I was just a kid, a fire the police had told my family. But for the little bit of time I knew my old man I knew he could trick a blind man into believing he could see.

Basically he could fake his own death easy.

I’ve never seen my mom cry in all the years I’ve been alive and that day had been no different. I remember standing outside her bedroom door on my tiptoes just trying to hear what wasn’t happening. Not a tear from her eyes. She’d been stone faced like she already knew the truth. My dad had left, not died.

Lester had a pretty sad childhood too. When he was four his dad knocked both his front teeth out. He always says he doesn’t remember what he did when asked but everyone knows he’s a liar. His mom had begun the process of divorcing his father which he didn’t take too kindly promptly running over the woman with his car. From there Lester was taken in by his aunt by ruling of the court and his father was put in jail.

But due to the absolute shit that is the Saltwater prison system, he managed to get out which made Lester all the more anxious and pushing, to get out of the little town we’ve reluctantly called “home”.

Reed is the only one out of the three of us who got through childhood pretty unscathed. When he was 15 his mom left his dad for another woman. They drove off into the sunset like newlyweds and his father went into a depression.

Somehow the news managed to pick this up though. Seeing as Saltwater is one of the most boring towns to have ever lived and nothing like this had really ever happened. His dad became the town “joke”. Reed didn’t care about his father’s pain at all honestly. He just hated the way it made him look.

He started getting into more fights and taking blows to what is his fragile cranium, because of moronic children screaming, “Your dad married a gay.” And “Your mom’s real reason for leaving was because your dad’s dick was too little.”

Reed never did like being taunted. He’s been in more fights then all of us. Well… Lester’s a fucking pussy so he’s only really ever been in one fight really.

But regardless we decided we were done with Saltwater life and we packed up, hitching a ride on our motorcycles to find a better life else where. Not like anyone will miss us. We were the only one’s there for each other.

I don’t really know how long we’ve been out here, or for that matter what town or city we plan on stopping in for good but we’re out here, and we have each other and that’s all that really matters.

“Reed you fucking bastard. Why is this weed sticky?!” I almost tossed it to the ground but decided against it.

We’d stopped for a moment behind an old abandoned looking building to smoke, I mean there aren’t really any cars around so it’s not like we’ll get caught. Besides hanging out with Reed for even an hour makes me wanna be high as fuck.

“I told you to carry it..” Lester interjected with a small shake of his head.

“Fuck did you do to it?”

“Bro I had to store it in a special place seeing as I don’t have fucking pockets and my bags full!” Reed announced

“The fuck did you bring?! You don’t have valuables!” Lester retorted gesturing at Reed’s bag.

“You know! Stuff! You never know what kinda stuff we could get into in a new place!”

He really is just the fucking worst.

“Bro why the fuck do you have condoms??!” I hadn’t even noticed Lester had moved until he was standing with a roll of Reed’s condoms plucked between his index finger and thumb.

“Put that back you little bitch!”

If they weren’t basically my brother’s, I’d ditch them here and now.

Reed practically launched himself at Lester in what could only be described as a ballerina type leap, grabbing for the condoms but completely missing as Lester switched hands at the last second. Almost dropping the roll from his carelessness, while pushing Reed away with one hand to the other boy’s chest.

“Will you two fucking stop! Let’s just fucking leave this is fucking garbage.” I remark tossing the sticky weed to the ground and throwing a leg over seating myself on my motorcycle.

“Thanks a lot Reed, now I gotta drive sober cause your ball sweat fucked up the good weed.” Lester commented moving towards his own motorcycle once he’d tossed the roll of condoms back to Reed.

“You suck so much dick, my ball sweat should be something you’re accustomed with.”

I shift my motorcycle out and back onto the road with no real warning driving slow enough that the two morons behind me can keep up even with a slow start.

“Yo Tj! Can we stop for some food! Regardless of not being completely baked I’m fucking hungry.” Lester suggested. He’s the only one out of the three of us stupid enough to ride without a helmet every now and then. Which is hilarious because we hang out with Reed.

I slow down to a point where crashing wouldn’t spill my brains out over the concrete and pull my helmet off my head. Sliding back to be between Reed and Lester.

“Have you seen a restaurant or anything in the last couple miles? Where do you plan on eating? Cause there hasn’t been much of civilization for the longest.”

“Luckily for you two I happen to know how many miles away the next restaurant is from us.” Reed announced, looking smug as shit for someone who didn’t know how to read maps only a year ago.

Lester raised an eyebrow. “You did research?”

“Someone had to. Or else we were going to end up dead before we made it past Saltwater’s fucking area code.”

“The fact that you know what an area code is is baffling.” Lester interjected.

“Shut up.” I said rolling my eyes at Lester. “Where’s our next rest stop?”

“This little place called Peachy keen? At least I think that’s how it was pronounced. That’s how I saw it online.”

“And at no point did you think to print out the map you got this off of?” Lester said, I shook my head squeezing the bridge of my nose with closed eyes.

Stupidity just keeps running off Reed and hitting innocent people.

I put my helmet back on my head, zooming forward thrusting my front wheel up into the air a bit but not before I hear Lester yell, “There are these things called libraries for people without printers!”

***

On my bike everywhere feels so much closer. It’s the only thing I had that I felt free whenever I was near. And alive when I was riding.

But today it felt like a fifteen hour ride just to finally find a place where we could sit down and get a meal. Especially with long intervals of, Reed calling out directions that ended up being completely fucking wrong, Lester arguing with Reed over Reed being completely fucking wrong, and me wanting to shoot my brains out because I’ve never been sober with these two for more than two hours.

Lester parked his bike first rushing in to grab a seat on the stool up front. Despite all their bickering the entire ride up here, Reed immediately joined him. Sitting down on the spinning red stool, promptly taking the menu from the plump waitress behind the counter.

Me. I need a break. A long break. So I sat myself down at a booth completely ignoring Reed and Lester when they called for me to join them.

I don’t need to actually sit with them to know what kind of conversation is gonna transpire. Lester going to probably order the most kiddie meal on the menu because he’s still a sperm cell. And Reed will make fun of him before ordering something he won’t be able to finish. Wasting food because he’s an over privileged moron.

Unlike 95% of Saltwater his family was considered wealthy in what would only be middle class in a good place. Before we left he emptied his dad’s bank account. Doesn’t really matter too much all things considered. His dad had three bank accounts including the one he emptied. That man will be fine with the money he still has left, probably better now that we’ve taken one of his problems away.

The waitresses here are surprisingly fast and nice, I didn’t have to wait too long before I got a menu.

Though it didn’t really help me much once I actually did have one.

I know what I want. What I really want is a burger and fries. But this diner seems to think it’s a good idea to mix in non English words with each option on the menu..

The fuck is a, “sweet petite poisson”

I take in the rest of the diner gazing over people with things, I definitely don’t want on their plates. A curly haired male and what looks like his new girlfriend judging by all the French kissing they’re currently doing sharing a plate of onion rings. A man seated not too far away from Reed who’s currently crying over a plate of mashed potatoes and what looks like steak. And an older man seated as far away from anything else happening in the restaurant as anyone could possibly be. Looking as though he’s plotting a couple murders with the way he’s poking his food with his fork.

I pull my gaze away looking behind me to the next booth where a lone kid sits. He’s wearing a hood that looks more comfy then anything I’ve ever owned back home, with what looks like a blue plaid shirt underneath. He has soft looking brown hair, and his doe eyes are focused on the burger and fries sitting with a very untouched look to them, as if he ordered without realizing he wasn’t hungry.

“Hey. Kid.” I call out and he flinches looking up at me. And suddenly I feel like I accidentally kicked a puppy.

I stand up moving around to sit across from him in the booth. He drops the fork as he takes in what’s happening like he’s witnessing a tornado first hand.

“Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to know how you ordered a burger and fries.” His eyes flicker over my jacket before falling to the table and I almost repeat my question after the long silence. He pushes the plate in front of him away placing the fork he was holding next to his spoon where it lay on a napkin.

“You.. Can have it.. I’m not really hungry..” His eyes flicker up again before falling just as quickly back to the table. He’s so small. And he looks fragile. Kinda like Lester did when we first met.

I stare at the burger in front of me before shaking my head. “Don’t you want it? You ordered it..”

He shook his head so fast I thought he was gonna fly out of the booth. “No, I’m not hungry. Honest. Please just take it.”

If the food didn’t look so untouched and I wasn’t as hungry as I am I might have fought him on it a little harder. Instead I just grabbed the ketchup at the corner of the booth.

“Thanks kid.”

He didn’t nod, didn’t flinch, like he did when I first sat down just continued to stare at the table.

I feel like I’m in too deep to go back to where I was sitting so against everything I’ve ever done in Saltwater I said, “No offense but where are your parents? Or anyone that loves you? You seem really young to be out here in the middle of nowhere like this.”

I say young despite what I really wanted to say which was “babyish”

“It’s not important.” He claims squeezing the fingers he was holding together like he’d just lied to me.

Now I’m definitely more curious. “I mean.. You look like a rich kid. I just assumed someone like you would be surrounded by people you love, who love you.”

He cocked his head up squinting like I’d asked him a personal question. “I’m not a rich kid. This hoodie only costs 75 bucks.”

And yet that’s still more money than my mom has spent on me in a year.

“Besides, I chose to be alone. I don’t want to be with anyone who loves me.” He remarks using air quotes around loves me.

“If you don’t mind me asking why is that?” His hand falls to the zipper on his hood pulling it up and down while his eyes jump back to me from the table. “You don’t have to tell me. But we’re both here, and we’re both strangers.. I have no one to spill your secrets to.”

He raised an eyebrow pointing with his nose to Lester and Reed who were paying no attention to our conversation, idiotically throwing fries at each other.

“I’m not telling them shit. They’re fucking idiots anyway they don’t listen to me.” A hint of a smirk flexed at the ends of his mouth and he turned to me fully.

“Cyrus.”

“Huh?”

“That’s my name!” He said with a playful eye roll.

“Oh. Oh! Tj!” I announce pointing to my chest.

He giggled in the softest way possible and I swear every other noise in the room disappeared.

“Nice to meet you Tj.” Now he was fully smiling and I couldn’t help but grin back. His hand came down from where it was still wrapped around his zipper to fall on the table. “Sorry about that. I just never talk to people about things if I don’t know their name.”

I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.”

He let out a deep sigh fingering the table. His eyes transfixed on the light brown wood. “I live in the city.” Cyrus began nodding towards the window as he spoke. “Aliayas just a couple miles that way.” He informed me.

I already had an image of the place in my head as though I’d been there prior. It already had beautiful blue lakes and streets so clean you could eat of them. Even if that wasn’t the case any place had to look better then Saltwater.

“I was.. feeling a little stressed out.. what with… Stuff.. happening in my life.”

“Why what happened?” I ask popping a fry into my mouth.

He shakes his head with a smile. “We just met.”

I nod even though for some reason I feel disappointed he won’t tell me. He’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever met before, in a good way.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Cyrus begins, does brown eyes locked onto me. “But.. What happened with you? I mean.. I watched you and your friends pull up here. And I was nervous because of the-” he gestures to my entire body with both hands before reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “You know… I kinda wanna understand.. Pretty much everything.” He finishes with a defeated sigh.

Now I’m laughing in a way I hadn’t since Reed tried to skinny dip in Saltwater Lake after the winter blizzard. “I’m apart of a motorcycle gang.” I explain breaking off to take a bit of the hamburger. “And those two dickheads, are my best friends they have been since we were kids. We all escaped from the absolute nightmare that is the town of Saltwater.”

“Wait.. Is that the town with the gay mom that left her husband?..”

“Shhh!!!” I laugh and so does Cyrus as we both lean closer I whisper, “That was Reed’s mom. Don’t let him know you know about that!”

I’m pretty shocked that news the news was noteworthy enough to travel outside of Saltwater but we live in a time of the Internet so maybe I shouldn’t.

“What’s wrong with having a gay mom?” Cyrus remarks with another soft giggle.

“Absolutely nothing but it’s a long story and Reed doesn’t take it well.”

Cyrus nodded doing the absolute worse job of trying to pull a straight face. “I’m not laughing anymore.” He exclaims covering his mouth with his hand. Once he’s finally gotten himself together he pushes his hands out on the table “So why’re you all the way out here with them? Looking for a break from stress too?”

“Aren’t you asking too many questions for someone who didn’t want to answer me earlier?”

He puts two hands up “Fine, far enough.” I pop another fry into my mouth as he turns his head peering out the surprisingly clean windows. “Which one’s your’s?” He asks pointing to the bikes parked out front.

I tilt my head even though I already know without looking which one belongs to me. “You saw me pull up. Remember.”

“So the one in the middle.”

I don’t know whether he’s sly or perky.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Motorcycles are so dangerous. I mean aren’t you afraid you’ll fall off?”

I smirk at him, “They’re just faster bikes. Have you ever ridden one before.”

His mouth hangs open for a second as he looks from me to my motorcycle parked out front and back to me again. He’s practically standing up where he’s at in the booth. “I.. Mean.. No.. It looks so cool.. But the part of me that likes living prevails over my curiosity.”

I let out a smooth laugh and he plops back down into the booth. “Smart. How about.. I let you ride mine.”

“Wh-wh-”

“Don’t freak out! I know we just met but I wouldn’t let you fall. It’s freeing and easy. And if you don’t let yourself try you’ll never know that feeling.”

He nibbles on his bottom lip before taking in his watch which looks like it costs about the same as my motorcycle. “Oh my god! It’s that late!” He yelps jumping up from the table. I move with him, eyebrows falling as I go. “My god! I’m sorry Tj I gotta go!”

He rushes to the door but not before slapping down a tip of more money then my mom makes in 4 weeks. “If you’re ever in Aliayas. Come find me.” He informs and with that he’s gone.

I take in the sight of him running to a black car just out front and in a couple minutes it’s sliding onto the road smoothly and just out of reach of this diner.

I don’t know how but Reed and Lester managed to sneak up on me. As loud as Reed is in everything that he does it makes me jolt even harder when he comes up directly behind me, with a hand on my shoulder.

“So who’s your boyfriend?”

I barely register if it was Reed or Lester who asked as I reply simply, “Cyrus.”

Reposting the first chapter of This weeds so sticky, you can go read the whole thing here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17198819/chapters/40439861

[waterstar2016]

Hello, goddess! I have a prompt for you! Reader is Raphael's girlfriend. She's a motorcycle-rider, leather jacket-wearer, has a New Yorker accent, all the goods. Her father owns a motorcycle shop and is the leader of a Biker gang. So, the very night Raphael goes to introduce his brothers to Reader, she's in the middle of dealing with members of a rival biker gang, conveniently run by her ex-boyfriend. Raphael watches in satisfaction as she whoops major ass and fawns over her in the end.

Goddess? I am so not worthy of that. *blush* Thank you for this awesome prompt! Totally right up my alley! I hope you like it.

SFW - some violence

The four scaled the side of the building. Reaching the roof they gazed down into the parking lot below. “So, Raph, which one is your girl?” Whispered Mikey. Leo shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Probably the one that he’s been staring at since we got up here.” Raph turned to his brothers and smirked. “Yep, she’s the one wearin the dark red jacket.” Mikey’s eyes travelled to where Raph was pointing. “Dude, she’s freaking hot!” Raph smirked. “I know little bro.”

She was wearing black leather pants that hugged her curves and her blood red motorcycle jacket fit her like a second skin. Her hair was a shade between black and brown and hung halfway down her back. It was dyed bright red underneath. Walking over to her bike (a 2009 Triumph Street Triple) she grabbed something out of her tank bag. Donnie looked at the bike through his goggles. “Wow, it looks like she’s made some major modifications to her bike. I’d like to see how fast it clocks out at.” He flipped another lens down and examined it further and squeaked. “Look at that exhaust!” Raph smiled.

“When do we get to meet her?” Mikey asked, careful to keep his voice down. Raph gave him a quick glance. “After their meeting. She’ll come up here when they’re done. Everyone’s there so they should be starting soon.” Leo’s head turned and he peered into the darkness. “I thought you said everyone was there Raph, there are more motorcycles heading towards us from the South. Raph rolled the toothpick in his mouth. “It’s probably her exes biker gang. They’ve been wanting this territory for years.” Donnie looked at Leo and they exchanged a glance. Raph was being unusually calm about the impending situation.

She heard the motorcycles approaching as well. Her father hollered. “Ya all know what to do. Let’s show these assholes once and for all that they are not welcome in our city. Be ready and be careful, it looks like they’ve brought reinforcements.” The group of nine watched and waited.

Pulling up on an old Harley he swung his leg over and took off his helmet. Hair as black as night and bright blue eyes greeted her. “Morgan.” She hissed. “What the fuck are ya doin here?” The man smiled and the feeling of insects crawled over her and she resisted the urge to shiver. “I thought I taught you better manners? But, that’s besides the point. I want you back. When you ran away two years ago I first thought, good riddance, you were too much work. Always needing punishment.” He paused and she felt his eyes travel over her body making her grit her teeth. “I’ve decided to forgive your past indiscretions.”

Resting her hand on her fathers arm to calm him she stepped away. If Morgan didn’t watch it, he was going to find out what else she’d learned in the two years since she escaped his clutches. “My indiscretions? You beat the hell outta me for putting your orange juice in the wrong glass. I tried leaving that night, but ya had the house on lock down.” She paused, reigning in her anger. “Ya were controlling, abusive and it sickened me when I found out what your corporation actually does. Ya lied to me and my family.” Morgan shrugged. “It’s a hard world. I do what I have to do. Now, enough chit chat. I’ve brought enough people that should I give the command, they will tear apart everything around here. If you come with me now, no harm shall be done.” He held out his hand towards her and smiled. It was a smile that made her stomach turn and it didn’t reach his eyes.

She made herself meet his gaze. “No.” His smile turned into a scowl. “I don’t want to hurt you or your family Princess. Stop this nonsense and come back with me.” She raised her eyebrow and scowled. “There are only two men in the world that are allowed to call me Princess, Morgan. And you ain’t one of ‘em.” Morgan’s posture immediately changed. “Who is he?! I’ll get rid of him real fast.” A slow smile crept across her features. “Morgan, you’re a piece of shit, but I’d rather see you rot in a jail cell then end up in the hospital. Which is where you will end up if you meet him.”

Michelangelo approached his older brother. “Dude, it looks like things are about to go down.” He said while eyeing the one that had spiked studs on his jacket’s shoulders. “Should we go help?” Raph gave Mikey a noogie. “Nah, she’ll be fine, trust me.” There was a sparkle in Raphael’s eyes that none of his brothers had seen before. His answer to hang back even surprised Leo, who honestly thought Raph would have charged the moment Morgan called his girl princess.

Morgan took a few steps closer to her. “I’m giving you one more chance to come back with me, or my gang will destroy your fathers shop.” The group behind him started pulling out pipes and slipping on brass knuckles. “If people get hurt, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.” From the rooftop of the shop the guys saw her clench her fists. “You’re scum, Morgan. Ya prey upon those that can’t defend themselves, which is deplorable. The day I managed to escape was the best day of my life.” She paused and cracked her neck. “Now, get on your excuses for bikes and get the fuck off my turf.”

Donnie came up and stood beside Raph. “Uh, the rival gang outnumbers theirs two-to-one Raph, are you sure we shouldn’t step in?” Raphael gave Donatello a grin. “Seriously, it will be ok, just relax.” The three brothers exchanged a look. Raph was telling them to relax? Mikey gave a massive shrug and turned his attention back to what was happening below them.

Her father stepped closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Ya need to listen to my daughter Morgan, leave now before this escalates.” Morgan laughed. “You’re the one that supported our alliance in the beginning! You practically threw your daughter at me.” Her father hung his head and squeezed his daughters shoulder in a silent apology. “That was before I saw what your gang was actually about. A mistake I truly regret. My daughter has chosen one that could squash ya like a bug, and I would be proud to call him son. Which is more than I could ever say for you.” Morgans chest was heaving and rage burned in his eyes.

Raph had the biggest smile on his face that the three had ever seen. Leo drew his Katana as the group of men behind Morgan started advancing. Raph rested his hand on his elder brothers shoulder at the sound of singing metal. “Leo, will ya put those things away?” The blue masked leader sighed and sheathed the twin blades. “I don’t know Raph, this looks like this is going to get bad.” Raph chuckled. “Leo, if things turn I will be the first one down there with my Sai ready to rip into anyone that hurts her. So, as Mikey would say…take a chill pill.” Leo narrowed his eyes, but held himself in check.

Suddenly, one of the rival gang charged, and Morgan yelled. “Kill anyone you see and burn down the shop, but leave her to me!” She exchanged a brief look with her father and then they exploded. Her father ran to the left and clotheslined the first to come after him. Slamming his fist in the next ones face he looked behind him to make sure his daughter was alright. Grinning at what he saw he turned back to his own fight.

“Oooooo!” The three yelled as they watched her kick one so hard in the stomach that he lost his supper as he flew backwards. Another grabbed her from behind with a knife at her throat. Before any of them could blink she crushed his nose with her elbow and had his arm twisted behind his back. The knife fell to the ground with a clatter. Flipping him over she slammed him into the pavement and dropped into the splits to trip the next guy that was charging her. Grabbing the knife she hopped up to her feet and threw it, piercing the hand that was holding a pipe which was poised to hit her father on the back of his head. Mikey stared with his eyes wide at the scene unfolding below them. “Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.” He whispered.

Flipping her hair out of her eyes she walked towards her father who was now holding Morgan with the same knife to his throat that was at her own neck only minutes before. Her father looked at her. “It’s up to you Princess, say the word and I will get rid of him for ya.” She cocked her head. Morgans lip was bleeding and she could see that he would have a black eye in the morning. “It’s ok, Daddy. Just hold him for me.” She walked up to him, rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned in close.

Morgan struggled, but her fathers grip was firm. She could see a trickle of blood running down his neck where the blade met his flesh. “If I ever see ya in this city again…I will end you. Do ya understand?” Morgan nodded his head as much as he could without cutting himself further. Without any warning she pulled her leg back and kneed him in the groin, hard. Morgan doubled over and her father let him fall to the ground. “That’s for the three months of hell ya put me through, asshole.” Morgan started dragging himself away, whimpering.

She turned to her father. “Let’s make sure our people are ok and then I want all of their bikes scrapped.” Her father nodded in agreement. “Good job sweetie.” He glanced up to the roof of his shop. “I think Raphael’s here Princess, you should go to him. I’ll manage the rest of things here. I know one day you’ll lead this group just fine. His eyes met the large figure above and gave a nod. Raphael gave him a nod in return. “Thanks, Daddy.” She gave her father a hug and then ran into the shop and up the back stairwell that led to the roof.

Opening the door she smiled at the sight before her. “Red!” she yelled and ran straight into his arms, jumping up so he caught her. She rested her head on his shoulder as he held her to his plastron. “Heya, Princess. Ya were amazing down there.” Setting her down Raph beckoned his brothers forward. “These are my brothers. Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo.” Mikey looked at Raph and shook his head. “Bro, don’t be so formal.” Turning to her he smiled. “Call me Mikey.” She smiled and shook his hand. “By the way Sweetcheeks, you seriously kicked some ass down there!” Donnie walked up to her and immediately started asking her questions about her bike.

Leonardo came up to her next. “Please, call me Leo, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Thanks to you, Raph has been more civil lately.” Raph chuckled deeply. Leo rolled his eyes. “You’re welcome to visit our home anytime you wish, our father would like to meet you.” Leo suddenly squinted. “You uh, have some blood on your cheek.” She laughed as Raphael licked his thumb and wiped it off of her face.

Leo laughed quietly at the sight. “I will admit I was worried when I saw how outnumbered your group was. Your fighting skills are impressive.” Raph wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and hugged her to him. “I told ya it would be fine Leo.” She laughed. “I knew you guys were here and Red would have backed me up if I needed it.” She eyed Leo slyly. “Raph’s right, ya are wound pretty tight.” Leo narrowed his eyes at her and then shook his head smiling. “Raph, she’s perfect for you.”

Raph grinned. “Don’t I know it.” She looked at the three in front of her. “So, if you guys are interested I have some cousins that would love to meet ya.” All three sets of jaws dropped. Mikey was the first to break the silence. “Really?! Well bring them on up!” Then he looked at Leo and winced. “Sorry bro, it’s your call.” Leo smiled. Seeing how happy Raph was lately had made each of them wonder if they would ever experience the same thing. Blue eyes glittering he nodded. “It’s fine with me.”

End.

[lardosundercut]

Assorted Instances of Justin Oluransi’s Regularly Scheduled Impulsivity

Ransom Week Day Four:

cacoethes - “an urge to do something inadvisable”

"I have a theory about you," Lardo said slowly.

Ransom rolled his eyes fondly, reaching out to take the pipe out of her hand. They were up in the reading room, taking a much-needed study break to smoke and pretend that graduation isn't just two weeks away. Lardo had stretched herself out like a cat in the sun, her legs across his and one arm cushioning her own head. 

She didn't seem bothered by the eye-rolling or the joint snatch. No, Lardo watched him with warm and affectionate eyes as Ransom relit the bowl and inhaled. To be honest, he didn't smoke nearly as much as some of the other guys on the team and it was still a heady experience. Lardo kept watching and, when Ransom finally exhaled, she continued.

"Every now and then," she explained slowly, "Your spreadsheet instinct hits its max, bro. That's why once a calendar year you do something that's fucking nuts. No shade intended, of course."

"None taken," Ransom replied easily.

Then, when his brain caught up with what Lards just said, he added, "And I so don't go nuts on a schedule."

"Brooo," Lardo said in a tone that demanded introspection, "Know thyself."

x

The summer after his freshman year, Ransom was pretty bored. His older sister was on a summer study abroad and his baby sister acquired a girlfriend sometime while Ransom was at Samwell, so they were both gone. His parents were thrilled to have him back, but that didn't mean they could quit their jobs for the summer just to hang out with him. Hell, even the majority of his high school friends were busy either with jobs back home or decided to stay at their respective college campuses for the break.

A month in and Ransom has already perfected his summer workout routine, read a half-dozen books, and debated whether or not the rest of the team would hate him if he brought a dog back to the Haus next year. (Those sad animal shelter commercials get to him, okay?) He was bemoaning this fact to Holster via text message. Holster, the tru-est bro, returned the favor by waxing rhapsodic about how much fun they'd be having if they could only be together. And, suddenly, things slid into place in Ransom's mind.

Grabbing his laptop, he did about five minutes of solid googling and another ten of throwing stuff together before calling Holster.

"Bro, did you realize you're only like thirty minutes away from Niagra Falls?" Ransom said, putting the call onto speaker as he sent out a quick series of texts to his family. "And that you can get a Holiday Inn room for less than eighty bucks?"

"Uh, yeah?" Holster said, then underwhelmingly, "And what?"

Ransom scrolled through his spotify quickly, selecting the playlist he typically reserved for roadies. Checking his mirrors, he realized this was one on those rare moments that he and Holster had not immediately been on the same page since they met last year. As he tapped the address into his GPS, he explained, "I'm driving to the Falls. You're going to meet me and we're going to have a 'swawesome weekend. I'll be there in like two hours."

"Oh," Holster replied, "Fuckin' sweet."

And thus, a tradition was born.

x

Despite the stress levels that meant he'd probably go grey by thirty, he'd managed to get through the MCATs with decent scores.

Well. More than decent really. He wasn't boasting the elusive 528 or even in the 520 range, he'd still past the bell curve. Scores that meant he'd get into pretty much any of the med schools on his list to complete preliminary apps for. Which meant now was the time to start working on his personal statements and deciding if his roadie suit was good enough for interviews and talking to Hall and Murray about how he was supposed to work interviews into the schedule while he's co-captain. Plus, there's figuring out if the list of schools he put down as potentials for preliminary applications are even good fits anymore. He wanted to stay on the east coast because it's where so many of his friends are. But a lot of east coast schools are super competitive and he isn't sure what he wants to specialize in yet and, ergo, he isn't sure if the program he wants to joinn is even on the coast.

It's a lot and, to be honest, Ransom's brain went a little numb whenever he thought about it. Sure, he's gone into coral reef mode a ton of times and someone has had to lure him out from under a library table with food. But even with that, Samwell has been fun. Med school is real and, from all the message boards he's scoured, it's less fun and more coral reef mode 24/7.

"I don't want to do it," Ransom grumbled as he began to pack his stuff up for the semester.

Then don't, a voice in the back of his head replied.

Ransom paused, a bundle of underwear still clutched to his chest. MCAT scores were good for, like, three years. Everyone was going to be either in Boston or Samwell or Providence in the next three years. Holster has pretty much talked non-stop about how much bank he was going to make in consulting since he declared Econ partway through their sophomore year. It could be easy and fun for another two years - three if he really pushed it.

He doesn't dare to tell a soul about his decision to defer - not when he's only just got his scores back. Still, as Ransom turned back to his packing, it was with a delighted zeal because he was so not getting into med school next year.

x

"Don't freak out," Ransom warned, tugging the hem of his shirt up halfway so his navel his visible.

On the bed (technically Holster's, but it was a bitch for them both to get up to the top bunk), Nursey snorted and set down the book he was reading. Things between them aren't really defined - not yet at least - and that made all of this seem a little crazy, in retrospect. Still, Ransom figured it would be best for Nursey to find out now than during a semi-drunk hook up after the keagster. Turning around to face the wall, Ransom pulled off his shirt and stood, half-dressed in his bedroom.

Nursey made a soft sound of appreciation, followed by, "Not saying you're not gorgeous, but I don't see the point in freaking out about something I've already seen up close and personal."

"Dude, you were so not chill about the same sight a few nights ago," Ransom chirped back.

Still, warmth spread through him at being called gorgeous (a word not usually reserved for big, bad D-men) and he turned around. It didn't take long for Nursey to spot it. He jerked up in order to get a closer look, hand flying to reach out for Ransom's chest. The tattoo wasn't huge or anything - just the two simple, crossed hockey sticks that made up the Samwell Hockey logo. Except, instead of a puck in the middle, there was a single, neatly printed number: 28.

It had seemed like a really good idea when he and Lardo had all gone in to get not-quite-matching tattoos. Both of them based there's off the Samwell logo, though Lardo had sketched up an appropriately artsy-fartsy version for her own tattoo. Ransom decided that his own minor tweak would suffice. And Holster, never to be left out of a senior outing, declined to get his own tattoo but held both their hands while they got inked, muttering about "b'tzelem Elohim".

It hasn't even been a full week that Ransom has had the tattoo, but the anticipation of waiting to show Nursey had already gotten to be too much. He delicately evicted Holster from the attic for the express purpose of showing Nursey the tattoo and now, standing with his shirt off and the other man's hand hovering over his pec, Ransom began to wonder if he should have asked first. This was his first tattoo and, to be honest, he hadn't thought to consider the etiquette beforehand.

"It's 'swawesome," Nursey finally said. "Do you want me to get a matching one? But, like, with your number?"

Ransom hadn't considered that being a possibility. Though, the idea of having a matching tattoo with Nursey - something that would undeniably link them forever - made the warm feeling rush over him again. He leaned in, pressing a light kiss to Nursey's temple. It's a benefit of not-officially-dating-but-not-seeing-other-people with someone who's the same height as him: minimal neck craning or back bending required for optimal smooches. Trying not to sound too sappy, Ransom replied, "I want you to do whatever you want, dude. Just let me come along for the ride."

Nursey smiled at that, face flushing as he finally pressed his hands against Ransom's chest, carefully avoiding the fresh tattoo. He kissed Ransom this time, aiming for the mouth and delivering something much hotter and deeper.

"Tattoo talk later," he said into Ransom's neck, "Kissing now?"

Ransom wasn't going to argue with that.

x

"Shit," Ransom said, sitting up quickly enough to jostle Lardo's feet. "You're right. Even my impulsivity has a pattern to it. Who does that?"

On his side, Lardo just readjusted her feet and blew a little smoke into his face. She smiled and patted his hand comfortingly and passed back the pipe. She'd never say it when they were both lazy and content from the weed, but she got an enormous amount of satisfaction from being right.

[bluegrasshole]

scrap #3

i’m almost certainly never going to go any further with these, so here they are. feel free to add on.

how larissa duan got her nickname, which was never really supposed to be a story about how larissa duan got her nickname. 

“Fuck, Duan, we gotta get you a nickname,” Holster says as he watches Larissa sink her ball in one of Ransom and Shitty’s solo cups. Shitty raises his drink to salute her before finishing it off.

“True. You’re a goddamn bro. You need a bro nickname,” Shitty says. Ransom sets up his shot and throws it, but Larissa immediately bends to scoop it out with her fingers.

“Hey! No fair! Girls are supposed to blow them out!” Ransom cries.

Larissa wiggles her fingers at him and winks, feeling warm and giggly. “But bisexuals get to do both.”

“BRO!” Holster yells, and tries to simultaneously fist-bump, high-five and hug her. He ends up looking flustered, open-mouthed, wagging his hands at her, and she laughs.

“Now that’s unfair,” Ransom grumbles. Shitty presses his hand over Ransom’s mouth so quickly there’s a slap! and then a pained grunt.

“Affirmative action, man. Let them have this.”

Larissa snorts when Holster passes a hand over his face to force it into a serious expression. “Okay, LD, like we practiced,” he says with a nod.

“Mmph!” Whatever Ransom is trying to say is muffled by Shitty’s palm.

“TRICK SHOT!” Larissa cries as Holster twists her around and lifts her up so she’s backwards and two feet taller. She closes her eyes to throw the ball -- it lands in the center cup. The small crowd that always gathers to watch the pong players erupts in cheers while Ransom falls to his knees.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. That was amazing. I’m dead. You’ve killed me,” he chants, face buried in his hands.

“Fuck. I’m upping my weight training for the next time we play together,” Shitty says. Holster winks and kisses his bicep, and Ransom swoons.

Larissa takes a bow. “Losers. You need to up your pong training if you ever want a chance at beating me.”

“Anything, Your fucking Pongness.”

Ransom stands abruptly. “Hey! What about Ponger! Pongo? Pongsy!”

They stop, thoughtful, then shake their heads all together.

“Naaah.”

“Don’t think so.”

“Doesn’t feel right.” This from Shitty, who shakes off the excess beer from the ball and hands it off to Larissa. “We’ll get there one day. Never leave a bro behind.”

Holster gasps. “Hey, Larissa,” he says, “we’re looking for a new team manager. Want me to put your name in with Hall and Murray?”

Because she likes hockey, and she likes these boys, and it’s Frosh Week so she really likes all the beer she’s had warming her from the inside out, she shrugs. 

“Sure, why not?” she says, and Holster lifts her up again in celebration.

“Fucking ‘swawesome.”

“All right, fuckers, sit down,” Shitty says, barging into Holster’s dorm with what looks like a reluctant Jack in tow. Larissa’s got her head on Ransom’s stomach, both laying on the floor, and Holster’s at his desk, headphones in, watching Cheers. 

“We’re already sitting down,” Ransom says, barely looking up from his Scientific American. They’re not high or anything, because it’s early Wednesday afternoon and they all have classes later, and it’s still too early on in the semester and in their university careers for them to say fuck it and skip. Though she doesn’t think Ransom would anyway, and Holster wouldn’t because what the hell would he do for an hour and fifteen minutes without Ransom? 

“Listen,” Shitty says, ignoring Ransom’s comment and throwing himself on the bed. Jack sits gingerly at the edge. “We need to get a lockdown on this nickname thing. I’ve brought Jack along to help.”

Larissa doesn’t really know Jack -- well, she knows what everybody knows, what Wikipedia knows, but other than that, not much. He’s older, already 21, and quiet, and he plays hockey, and Shitty likes him. She doesn’t even know what he’s studying. 

“You said we were going for a walk,” Jack says, staring at Shitty pointedly.

“Yeah, and we walked here, didn’t we? Oh, don’t -- we’ll go once the froggies leave for class, okay?” He’d memorized their schedules sometime last week.

Holster takes his headphones off and swivels to face them. “Okay, what have you got, then?” 

Clearing his throat loudly, Shitty pulls out a crumpled-up napkin, making a show of smoothing it out. “Possible nicknames for one Larissa Duan: Duano--”

“Oh, God,” Larissa mumbles. Shitty goes on unhindered.

“--Dutsy, Dusty, Lassy--”

“Stop, holy shit,” Holster says, jumping up and cross the few feet to rip the paper from Shitty’s hand. “These are all awful. What -- oh my god, I don’t even want to read these. I can’t look at them anymore.”

Ransom pushes Larissa’s head so it sits on his lap, and pushes himself up. “Bro, you’re forgetting the most important aspect of a nickname. It’s gotta be organic, right? Natural.”

“Goddamn, you’re right.” Shitty hangs his head. “You’re fucking right. What was I thinking? This manufactured bullshit will never be it.”

“Maybe she can just be Larissa. Like me,” Jack says, shrugging.

“Jack, your name’s not Larissa. It’s Jack,” Ransom points out, rather unhelpfully.

Larissa rises from Ransom’s thighs and holds herself up on her elbows, eyeing them each in turn with an eyebrow raised. “You’re all just gonna have to work harder.”

“Damn,” Holster says softly. “Never leave a bro behind.”

The late-night fro-yo runs have gained in frequency the closer they get to mid-terms, and this time she’s out with Emilie and Simon, who are the other occupants of her designated studio space. They’re second years who live in apartments off-campus, and Larissa likes them a lot. She thinks they like her too. They’ve got twenty-four hour access to the building, so it’s not unusual for one of them to scream FUCK IT past eleven, and drag the others to Simon’s car, sometimes stopping to pick up another friend or two in the rooms next to theirs, still splattered with paint and glitter and clay.

“I’m just saying that there’s gotta be a way to make the studios more accessible. Like I get that it’s an old building, but all those fucking stairs? And like, one elevator? Shit’s ridic,” Emilie says around a mouthful of spoon and chocolate yogurt, caramel dripping down her chin. Larissa knows all about the stairs -- and, though she’d never admit it, the elevator too. “I think we should write a letter to the department, get some signatures. At least get them to commit to look into it.”

“Mm, yeah,” Larissa says, scooping up a strawberry. “You should talk to my friend Shitty. He got the school to fix up the ramp at Faber last year, because it was pretty much falling apart.”

Simon laughs. “His name is Shitty? That’s unfortunate.”

“It’s a hockey nickname.” She shrugs. “Most of them have one.”

“Do you?” Simon asks. 

“Not yet. Maybe eventually. Hey, wanna trade bites?”

Emilie laughs and pushes her cup closer to Larissa’s. “Nah, just take some of mine. What’s the point of getting fruit when you’re going out for a treat, you know?”

Larissa scoops up half a spoonful of chocolate and caramel. “Hm. Not a lot of fresh fruit at the meal hall.” It’s only part-lie (she doesn’t stop to think about how big a part). “Thanks.”

Later, when Simon’s gone home and she and Emilie are back in their studio space (the building was converted from an old elementary school and there is still tape on the walls under jacket hooks with names like Sarah and Kevin and Tommy), Emilie asks her if she’s ever had sex. It’s not -- weird, really, because Emilie is like that; she writes sex-ed articles for the Swallow, wears shirts that say Consent is Mandatory, is part of the art school’s feminist collective. She and Shitty really would get along.

“Ever had sex?” she says, casually. Larissa notices she doesn’t ask if she’s a virgin -- Holster had, and Shitty had nearly yelled himself hoarse. 

“Yes,” she says. This one’s a full lie. She doesn’t know why she says it. Well, okay, that’s a lie too, because she knows. She definitely knows. 

“Do you, like, want to?” Emilie says. She’s at the sink washing off her brushes.

Yes, she fucking wants to. Social construct or not, it’d be a relief. And besides, she likes sex -- with herself. And she’s watched plenty of porn. Read plenty of porn. She figures it can’t be that hard -- vulvas aren’t as scary as dicks, anyway, even though she thinks she’d like both. 

Her heart is beating so fast she can feel it in her throat, in the back of her head, in her fingers, deep in the pit of her cunt. Pulsing.

“Like, in general? Sure,” she says, shrugging. She doesn’t look away from her canvas.

Emilie steps closer. “Well, with me. I just feel like we could use a bit of a de-stresser, you know?”

Larissa raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. “Smooth.”

She already knows she’s going to say yes, that Emilie wouldn’t joke about this.

“Hey, no hard feelings if you don’t want to.”

She measures the pause: enough for a breath, enough for her to seem like she’s considering it.

“Yeah, why not?” she says, and if her voice is a little higher-pitched than normal, Emilie doesn’t notice, grinning wide.

“Awesome. Put your stuff away and -- your place or mine?”

“Mine’s closer,” she says, stepping towards the sink, biting her lip. She concentrates on slowing her movements, because she feels like everything is spinning too fast, her heart beating beating beating. “And you’re in luck, I even made my bed today.”

Emilie steps into her space and stretches her arms around Larissa’s waist, drops her head down to her neck to kiss it. “We’re just going to mess it up again,” she whispers, her voice gravelly. Larissa’s breath hitches, like a silent hiccup.

“Jesus, Em. Impatient?” she forces out as Emilie’s hand sneaks under her shirt to rub along her ribs and stomach. Emilie laughs into her ear.

“I guess. I’ve been feeling really tense, ya know?”

“Mmm. Come on, let’s go.”

She tells herself it’s not a big deal, that she won’t make it a big. People have sex all the time. Good sex, even. Because it was -- good sex. At least, she thinks. But Emilie said so after, said that it was fun with a wide smile before she picked up her clothes off the floor and left only a couple bobbypins and the scent of fucking behind. Like, not a big deal. 

She texts the group chat anyway, approximately five minutes after Em leaves. 

Guess who just had sex, she writes. Resists adding a couple exclamation marks. Hides it under her pillow after she sends it. 

She’s kind of -- well, naked. And sticky. And is debating the merits of a shower when her pillow buzzes.

YOOOOOOOO SWAWESOME, from Shitty.

Then two seconds later, Ransom: Brah! Me too!

It’s a Tuesday night, Justin, Holster writes. You have class tomorrow morning!

So does LD!! Ur just jeal of us. Ransom answers. She hides her face in her pillow even though no one’s around to see her blush. 

Congratulations, Jack answers a few minutes later. It almost sounds sarcastic, and maybe it would be from anyone else, but Larissa has noticed Jack doesn’t really do sarcasm all that much. He’s probably being sincere.

She decides against showering for reasons she doesn’t really want to delve into but can probably be summed up to wanting to hold onto whatever feeling this is for as long as she can. Her phone lights up again when she’s trying to find sleep -- she really does have class early in the morning.

What about Larry, Jack writes, for the nickname.

She laughs to herself in the dark. Thanks for trying, she types out, but I don’t think so.

Maybe when you’re middle-aged and balding? from Holster.

I’ll hold onto the idea, she says, then puts it away, smiling. She’s still smiling when she wakes in the morning.

[sage-the-mage]

Okay so like a month/month and a half ago I was bored at work and let my mind wander while cleaning (as I frequently do, my brain constantly jumps from thing to thing when I'm bored) and accidentally created an AU I've been obsessing over since. It started out as me wondering what would happen if Miraculous Ladybug was in the same universe as DC (specifically the "takes bits and pieces from different things because the actual comics usually have me screaming no because of the bullshit they do to my babies and anyway I like Teen Titans (2003) and Young Justice and the animated movies so I'm gonna amalgamate them a bit" verseI made with Mal that's constantly going in my head). But nothing really changed so I kept doing things and wound up combining two things that didn't need to be put together and made Marinette not exist in the verse and- That was when I realized I had a problem but really didn't care. Sooo since I'm not doing great today I decided I'm just making a long probably rambling post for this verse because maybe it'll make me feel better. -Chara and Mal came to earth when they were nine and got adopted by Bruceman almost instantly -Dickiebird is two years older than them but Chara will always claim "oldest" when coming up with plans and is questioned on who put her in charge and he really doesn't fight her on it because she's definitely the most responsible -Idk the actual age differences between everyone in the batfam so I'm making up my own -Ironically enough, when Mal and Chara first got into the heroing thing, Chara's chosen alias was Ladybug. Because she liked ladybugs -Mal and Chara spent their first four years on earth trying to find their father, then never actually went to see him once they did because they were both nervous -Plus Jason had just been taken in and they wanted to get to know their new little bro -Jay's a year younger than them -Another year after that, when Mal and Chara were thirteen, Chara almost died -Mal and Dickie had already decided to move to Jump for awhile and try being heros without The Bat, and Chara decided to let Ladybug die (since the villains already thought she was) for awhile so she could see what a normal life was like -She then sought out her father to actually meet him -Who lived in Paris with his wife -They own a bakery -You have to see where this is going -The girls' mother Miranda visited earth at one point (for science) and wound up "dating" (it was like a week lmao so I'm not sure it counts as dating) Tom Dupain while she was there -Then after she left she found out she was pregnant and he wound up meeting Sabine Cheng -Also Miranda seemed to have a thing for accidentally having half human kids after visiting earth -Because that had happened before with some other human -Except the father of those ones knew about it -So she kept one (Valerie) and let the father keep one on earth -And there we have Slade -Because I just like torturing my babies by having him related to them too damn much -Anyway -So Chara goes and surprises her dad with her existence -But he and Sabine are both more than happy to let her live with them -Chara had already thought of Bruceman as her dad (and Selina as a mom tbh) and now she has another mom and dad and it was great -Mal came by to meet them and it was great -I should write that tbh -French is one of the languages Chara hadn't picked up working in the batfam so she had to learn there -This leads to slip-ups and uncertain stuttering that Chloe makes fun of her for relentlessly -Chloe still a bitch -She manages to have a normal life for a full year!!! -Then mysteriously gets these earrings that turn her into a superhero themed like- get this- a ladybug -Oh the irony -I feel I've gotten more sarcastic as this post goes on -Also she gets her first crush on a sweet cinnamon roll model boy and made friends with a girl who really likes superheros -In case you couldn't tell that's Adrien and Alya -Chara can talk to Adrien better than Marinette can in the show -She still stammeres a lot but it's not nearly as bad and it's usually blamed on her not knowing the language confidently yet -She pretty quickly settles into her role as Ladybug again -She even likes Chat Noir's stupid puns -Not that she'd tell him while they're battling akumas -Then Jay dies -And she's sadder than normal but no one knows why exactly -Because she's pretty private about her life and family back in Gotham -Anyway over the next few years she becomes pretty good friends with Alya and Nino and Adrien while doing the hero thing with Chat -Because I have a soft spot for the MariChat branch, that is definitely a thing -Chat likes to see what "Purrrincess" is up to because she's less stuttery and more jokey for some reason when he's Chat instead of Adrien??? -The reason being Chara knows Chat won't make fun of her for her language slip-ups because he hadn't while she's LB -Either way Chat likes seeing her like that -And Chara comes to appreciate his jokes and just him in general -And she kinda gives up on Adrien because surely if it was meant to be it would be easier -And Chat's accepted LB doesn't want to be anything more than friends -So one day while they're hanging in Chara's room Chat kisses her -And then they're making out on her bed -And it becomes a thing -And a couple weeks later Chara shows up one day covered in hiccies -So does Adrien -Neither offers an explanation and Chara doesn't seem to be upset by seeing hiccies by the collar of his shirt so everyone assumes they hooked up, which is truer than Chara realizes -Chara winds up telling Alya it was actually Chat and holy hell Alya totally flips -"GIRL HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU WOUND UP WITH CHAT FREAKING NOIR!!!" -Chara shushes her and tells her it's not like that -Really they're just friends with benefits because surely Chat, who seemed to flirt with everyone (though if she payed attention, she'd see it was only her as Chara and LB) wouldn't want to actually DATE her -Jump to a few months later, LB and Chat finally defeated Hawkmoth -They agreed to not reveal Gabriel's identity, as long as he gave up the moth miraculous -LB was very reluctant to do this, which confused Chat -Chat, after finding out HM was Gabe and his reason for wanting the cat and ladybug miraculouses was to bring his mom back bc he's even worse with Emotions (tm) than Bats, wanted to give him a second chance, and was confused why LB (not knowing she was trained by Bats and lived in Gotham) is so reluctant to give a second chance -After they leave Chara decides to reveal herself to Chat because without HM as a problem anymore that shouldn't be an issue and really it's been nearly four years and she really REALLY likes him so -Chat is just stunned because shit his lady and his purrincess are one and the same and wait he kissed Ladybug and she actually was interested in him just not while they were fighting and fuck his father was the guy they've been up against for the last four years she DEFINITELY wouldn't be in him now -Chara sees the shock on his face and, because she's pretty confident in herself, assumes he wasn't as ready for a reveal and tells him not to tell him who he is yet, he clearly isn't ready -Chat just kisses her and detransforms anyway and Chara's the one who's shocked -Jump again to a few weeks later when Chara goes on a visit to Gotham as she does every few months -She's kept up well with the growing Batfamily and keeps a good relationship with all of them -She acts as a mother to all of them, including Dick -She's pretty protective of Timmy -Damian wouldn't admit it, but she's actually his favorite -She's not judgmental of the fact he grew up an assassin or telling him constantly to not kill people, and actually gives him tips on how to adapt (which she'd used herself after coming to earth), and she's not always around so he doesn't have to deal with constant hugs, only when she's visiting, so it's a manageable amount -Jay's the only one she hasn't kept up with, and that's only because no one told her he came back -So Chara comes for one of her visits and brings Adrien and Alya and Nino (who've been informed of their secret identities) -Almost immediately there's an attack at the coffee shop they stop in by a fairly weak villain -Probably Riddler or smthn -Chara Ladybugs up and kicks his ass within two minutes -Cue people cheering and being excited at seeing Ladybug again -AGAIN -Chara goes back to Chara and Alya just -"GIRL YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO" -Chara hesitates then takes the distraction of noticing someone -That someone winds up being Jay -He'd heard what was going off then sprinted off when he saw it was taken care of -Chara chases -Confused af when she sees it's Jay -But also excited because her first little brother is ALIVE -And she's just chattering and hugging him -And then he starts bawling and she's not sure why -But she's rocking him and muttering soothing nonsense and petting his hair -And he's curled in her lap like a little kid and just sobbing and holding onto her and he's just so happy someone's loving him and caring about him -Once he calms down he tells her that he had come back and the whole story with that and how after he hadn't followed the no kill rule a few times and the rest of the family was weary at best towards him -Mal was nice enough to him at least but still it wasn't great -Chara just keeps holding him and rocking him and assuring him that he's still part of the family and more importantly he's still her little brother and she'll always be his big sister -She reminds him how before she moved to Paris she promised she'd be there for him whenever he needed and says that still applies -The others finally find where she'd went and she tells them everything -Bruceman might be mad but shhhh he can deal she trusts them with her life -They finally make it to Wayne Manor and they all get along pretty damn well -Even Jay -I should write that too -Aaaand that's all for now

[kaleidoscopephilosophy-blog]

Wasted Time

“Well, yeah, it’s Saturday night! Of course I’m going out.”

After all, only the nerds and the losers stay in on weekends.  If you’re not getting absolutely smashed every Friday and Saturday night, what are you doing with your life?  As they say, you only have the college experience once, and I’m sure as hell not going to blow it.

“Well, I was thinking, maybe, just this once, we could try something different, maybe something new and exciting, like--” says Veronica.

“Like going to that huge party at Sigma Pi everyone’s been talking about?  It’s gonna be  absolutely lit, trust me,” I interject.

Justin and Richie nod vigorously in agreement, and Richie spills some beer on his shirt.

“Aw, fuck, man,” he grumbles.  “Not again!”

“You fuckin’ klutz,” laughs Justin, elbowing Richie, who spills more beer.

“Shut up, dickhead!” says Richie, shoving Justin.  Justin pushes back, and a sluggish shoving match ensues.

“Guys, stop it!” Veronica squeals, forcing herself between the two sweaty young men.  They glare at each other, then move to opposite sides of the dorm room.  Richie quickly downs his beer and grabs another, popping it open and pouting.  Justin goes back to playing beer pong with Olivia, Susan, and Mary.  Mary edges away from Justin when he stands a little too close to her.

“Look, I get that you’re excited about this party, but we’ve gone to a frat party every weekend night for the past two months!  Doesn’t it ever start to get a bit stale for you?” says Veronica.

I look at her incredulously, exchanging glances with Victor and Richie, who smirk back at me.

“Stale? Are you kidding? Boundless booze and breathtaking broads as far as the eye can see… to me, that’s paradise,” I reply.  Richie laughs.  “I would party every night if I could.  Hey, Justin, pass me another beer, would ya?”

As Justin tosses me a cold one, Veronica opens her mouth to respond.

“Yeah, ‘paradise.’  Huge, hairy guys grabbing at your body and drooling on your hair in a sweltering room with music blasting at some ungodly high volume… it doesn’t get much better than that, does it, Aaron?”

“Hey, you looked like you were having fun last night!  Who was that guy you hooked up with?  Michael?” I say.

“Matthew.  And ew, no!  He was disgusting!  I had to physically push him away multiple times before he took the hint,” she says.  “Besides, I haven’t hooked up with anyone since Jason, so stop making up things that didn’t happen.”

“You really should get yourself back out there, Ver,” Mary yells over from the beer pong table.  “You’re hot! It’d be hard to find a guy who wouldn’t want to hook up with you, and you know it!”

Veronica blushes, and I can’t help but stare at her tantalizing brown eyes.  I swear, they’re like whirlpools, pulling in whatever hapless young sailor happens to be passing by and spitting him out whole before he can even sink past the surface.  Maybe one day, if she’d just give me a chance, she would finally see that I--

“Thanks, boo, but you know I can’t just do that with a total stranger… it’s too weird for me.  Call me crazy, but that’s just how I am,” says Veronica.

“Whatever you say, girlie,” yells Olivia, sinking a shot over at the pong table.  As she shrieks with delight and high fives Susan, I take careful note of her voluptuous figure.  I can’t wait to get to the party, where I know I’ll be surrounded by dozens of scantily-clad Olivias.  It’s genius that frats let them in for free.  Thank the lord sororities can’t have parties.  What a genius system.  It’s like a fuckin’ harem every night!  Take your pick!  Enjoy the buffet!

“Well, you can’t complain anyway,” I say.  “You guys get in for free.  We have to pay.”

“Still, frats are gross,” says Veronica.  “If I were a boy, I wouldn’t pay to get into one of those pissholes.”

“You claim to be a feminist, Veronica,” says Victor, “but I haven’t heard you say a peep about the blatant misogyny inherent in the fraternity system.  Same with you, Susan.”

Susan flips him off.

“Oh, shut up, Victor,” I say.  “I’m too drunk for your big words, and no one wants to talk about fuckin’ politics and shit right now.”

“Dude, it’s a serious issue!  In my eyes, at least, but no one wants to talk about it because everyone would rather just get drunk and have sex every weekend without thinking twice,” he says.

“That’s exactly right, Victor,” says Justin, grinning as he sinks yet another shot into a red solo cup.  He tries to hug Mary, but she pushes him away, grimacing.  Justin shrugs, and Mary takes another shot of tequila.

“Dude, admit it, you’re just bitter because you don’t drink and you can’t get girls,” says Richie, drunkenly attempting to open his sixth beer of the evening.

“You know I’m saving myself for marriage!” exclaims Victor, blushing.  Everyone bursts out in laughter.

“What? When I told Father Flanagan, he said I was making a very intelligent choice, and that I’m ‘truly wise beyond my years,’” Victor says smugly.  “Stop laughing!”

“I can’t believe you actually believe all that horseshit they force down your throat in church,” says Justin, sneering.  “Becoming an atheist was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and it makes listening to you people spew your fairy tale garbage fuckin’ hilarious!”

“I have a personal relationship with Christ, Justin,” says a steely Victor.  “And I think you could really benefit from one, too.”

“‘Personal fuckin’ relationship with fuckin’ Christ,’” says Justin, laughing hysterically.  “Oh, loving and merciful Lord, forgive Victor for being such a fuckin asshat!”

“Alright, alright, enough!” shouts Veronica, waving her arms in the air as if she is attempting to fly away.  “Let’s all just try to be friends, okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough politics and religion for a full month,” I add, grinning at Veronica.  She doesn’t return my smile.  Even in her angered state, she is so incredibly sexy.

“Alright, who’s ready to go?  We’ve been pre-gaming for almost two hours now,” says Susan impatiently.  Ah, pre-gaming.  Another absolutely genius invention.  Getting drunk before you actually get to the party saves so much time.  It lets you cut right to chase, jump right in, if you catch my drift.  You still drink at the party, of course, but you’ll already be drunk when you arrive.  Then comes either the post-game, or, even better, the coveted hook-up.

“Yeah, we can go now,” I say as Victor pushes past me, reaching for the door handle.

“Fuck all of you,” he says, flipping us off.  “I’m staying in tonight to watch SNL.”

“Whatever you say, man,” says Justin, laughing.  He bumps fists with Richie.

Victor shakes his head and slams the door.  I wait a few moments, then open it as we all file into the hallway.

“What the hell was his problem?” asks Olivia, looking puzzled.

“Something to do with him not being able to get girls,” says Justin, laughing.

“You don’t have to be such a dick all the time, you know,” says Veronica, frowning.

“He’s a fuckin’ Jesus freak, Veronica!  You heard him!” says Justin, gesturing in the general direction of Victor’s room.

“You should at least respect his beliefs, Justin,” she curtly replies, not making eye contact.

“Goddamn.  The world’s gone mad.  I need another beer,” says Justin, sighing loudly.

“So, anyway,” says Susan, attempting to ease the tension, “did I tell you guys about the guy who wore a gorilla suit to my Art History lecture on Thursday?”

“Wha-- no!  Do tell!” says Mary.

As Susan tells her story, I zone out as I stare at her perfect ass, hidden somewhere under those flowery green hippie pants.  She’s gorgeous, despite the fact that she never wears makeup or washes her long, curly brown hair.  She seems to be convinced she’s living in the 1960s; I mean, she wears a fucking dandelion in her hair nearly every day!  And she’s so smart, too.  Valedictorian of her high school, even though she’d never tell you.  She doesn’t really drink, though, and surprisingly, she’s not into weed, either.  She’s a bona fide hippie, but doesn’t smoke pot!  Unbelievable, I know.  It’s too bad, really.  Doesn’t ever hook up with guys, either.  It’s her life, I guess, and don’t get me wrong, I respect her choices!  I just don’t get it.

Before long, we make it to Sigma Pi.  The line’s a little long, but we’ve been hearing all week about how lit this party is supposed to be, so we decide to wait.  A few people step out of line; one of them is puking.  Pathetic, I know.

Finally, we get to the door.  As I reach into my wallet for ten dollars, the girls walk in.  The four frat bros at the door check each of them out, nodding with approval.  I envy these frat guys.  They have it all: a free ticket to parties every weekend, girls to hook up with whenever they want, and, best of all, a real, genuine brotherhood.  I kick myself for not rushing a frat this year.  Next semester, I vow to myself.

I hand one of the guys my $10, and he stamps my hand.  I walk in, flanked by Justin and Richie, and scan the basement for the bar.  The music is blasting, as expected, and the whole room reeks of weed.  For such a wonderful plant, marijuana really does smell terrible when it burns.  As we make our way through the sea of inebriated dancing students, I spot Mary and Olivia, but I don’t see the bar.

“Yo, dude, check out that girl over there,” says Richie, gesturing toward the corner of the room, where a tan latina dressed in all white is dancing like a fuckin’ stripper on a pole.  Why the hell is there a pole down here?  Only in college, I guess.

“Damn, bro,” says Justin, unable to avert his stare.  He makes brief eye contact with the latina, who winks and beckons him toward her.  In a matter of seconds, he is dancing beside her in a proximity that would make Victor’s Father Flanagan cringe.

“Looks like we lost him for the night,” remarks Richie, laughing.

“Yeah,” I say, only half paying attention to his comment.  “Hey, where’s the bar?  I need to chug a few beers.”

Some tall older guy with round John Lennon sunglasses who is passing by overhears me and points toward the far corner of the room, opposite of where Justin is getting his lap dance.

“It’s over there, brah,” he says.  “Hey, brah, you smoke?”  He is holding a blunt in his hand, and he pushes it in my direction.  I nod, staring at his bright red dreadlocks.  Only in college.

“Take a hit, brodie,” he says, grinning.

“Uh-- alright, man,” I stammer.  “Thanks.”  I take a hit and begin to cough, prompting a laugh from my new pal.

“You a freshman?” he asks, taking back his blunt.

“Yeah,” I answer.  He laughs again.

“I can tell,” he says, still grinning.  He takes another hit, then offers me the blunt for a second time.  I try again, this time managing not to break into a coughing fit like an idiot.  I turn around to see what Richie is making of the Bob-Marley-look-alike, but he isn’t there.  I do a quick scan of the room and spot him about twenty yards away, dancing with a very drunk frumpy blonde.

“Look, brah,” says Redlocks.  (Genius, I know.  Red + dreadlocks = Redlocks.)  “These bitches don’t want nothin’ to do with some awkward freshman.  You gotta have confidence, brodie.  Swagger.  Watch.”

Redlocks hands me his blunt and walks toward the stripper-dancer latina girl.  I pocket it and look on as he grabs her by the hips and pulls her away from Justin, who stares open-mouthed as she begins to grind on the very tall newcomer.  I can’t help but laugh.  Redlocks pulls her closer to him, and the two of them start making out.  He opens his eyes and winks at me, raising his right arm above the latina’s head and pointing at her as if to say, “Look, kid.  This is how you do it.”  Wow.  Maybe this guy does know what he’s talking about.  Just then, Justin spots me and stumbles over in a huff.

“What the fuck are you staring at?” he asks me angrily.  I can only point at Redlocks and the latina, awestruck by what has just transpired.

“So you saw what that fuckin’ asshole did with my girl?” he demands, his fists balled up.  “I was supposed to be the one making out with her, not that fuckin’ giraffe!”

“Dude, that guy is some kind of magician or something,” I say softly.  Justin doesn’t hear me.

“Fuck!” he yells.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

As he makes off for the bar, I wonder if I can manage to pull off what this genius with red dreadlocks has just accomplished.  Scanning the room, I spot my target in a matter of seconds.  She’s a petite brunette, complete with a round ass and a stunning rack.  She’s dancing on a short, stocky guy with a buzz cut, who is decked out in a green sleeveless shirt with a skull on the front and tan khaki shorts.  I make my way over, forcing myself to continue on my mission with every nervous step.  If Redlocks could do it, so can I.

She glances at me for a second, and I realize I am staring directly at her.  I avert my gaze, but continue to walk toward her until I am standing right next to her.  Before I make my move, I take a quick look around the room.  I see Mary and Olivia dancing with the frat guys who let us in over in the corner.  Justin is drinking a beer beside them, sulking.  Richie is still with that blonde, who looks like she may puke or pass out at any minute.  I take a deep breath, then turn toward my target and grab her by the hips.

Before I can pull her onto my waist, she slaps at my hands and pushes me away.  Shit.

“Hey!” yells the guy with whom she was just dancing.  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I break into a cold sweat.  The guy advances toward me menacingly, and the petite brunette steps behind him.

“Uh, well, you see, I was just, um, trying to, uh--” I stammer, not sure how I will finish the sentence.  By now, one of his friends has walked up next to him, a nearly-empty beer bottle in hand.  Don’t ask me how I notice the amount of beer left in the bottle in the heat of the moment; I’m just very observant, I guess.  He glares at me, and they both take another step toward me.

“Trying to what, you fuckin’ perv?” he asks.  They take another step, and I realize I’m backed up against the wall.  A small crowd has started to form around us, perhaps sensing that a fight may be imminent.

“You think you can just walk up and grab someone’s girlfriend?” he asks, more loudly this time. “Huh?  You think you’re fuckin’ Donald Trump or somethin’?”

I laugh nervously, then quickly realize that was a mistake.  His face turns red with anger, and he grabs the beer bottle out of his friend’s hand.  My god.  He’s going to hit my with the bottle.  Why the fuck did I ever think this idea would work?  How the hell did Redlocks pull it off?  This is supposed to be the ‘college experience,’ isn’t it?  Everyone gets wasted out of his or her mind, then guys get to go out and fuck whatever girls they choose, right?  That’s how it’s supposed to be!  That’s how it is in the fuckin’ movies!

As my tirade of confused and angry thoughts culminates, I notice that a really big crowd has materialized around us.  Some of the frat guys are chanting for us to fight.  The guy I’ve pissed off thrusts the beer bottle over his shaved head and cathartically screams.  I notice a tattoo of a machine gun on his arm.  Lovely.  I also notice the toned muscle around that tattoo and gulp with trepidation.

“Aaron!”  Someone is yelling my name.  I look out into the crowd to try to find the source of the shouting.

“Aaron!  Aaron!”  It’s Veronica.  She is jumping up and down, frantically waving her arms in an effort to get my attention.  I make eye contact with her.  The fear in her eyes makes my stomach drop.

“Aaron!” she yells again, pointing.  “Duck!”

Before I can register what she has said, I feel a shattering explosion of pain as the beer bottle collides with my right temple.  I taste blood as it drips down into my mouth.  The room is spinning, and all I see are fuzzy colors.  I hear muted yelps and screams of victory through my ringing ears.  My head is throbbing, but I feel a strange warm sensation throughout my body, as if I am falling asleep.  Like the end of a movie, everything slowly, quietly fades to black.

********

“They found WHAT?”

I look up from my not-so-comfortable white hospital bed at my friends, who are gathered in a circle around me.  Olivia, Mary, Justin, Richie, Susan, and Veronica are all here.  No sign of Victor, though.  Oh, well.

“Yeah, apparently it was in your pocket,” says Justin.  “What I want to know is why you even had a blunt in the first place.  We didn’t smoke last night!”

Suddenly, like a cold wave splashing me in the face, it all comes back.  The really tall guy with the round John Lennon sunglasses and red dreadlocks!  The one who gave me the “advice” that earned me eight stitches and a concussion.  Just thinking about him makes my temple throb.

“That’s a story for another day, my friend,” I say, half-grinning.  “Wait, what ended up happening to the guy who hit me over the head with the bottle?”

My friends all start to laugh.

“What?  What’s so funny?”

“He was a senior member of Sigma Pi.  Essentially ran the whole frat.  And you stole his girl,” says Justin, still laughing.

“I did not ‘steal his girl,’” I reply, making air quotes with my fingers, which makes them laugh even harder.  “She rejected me!”

“As she should have!” says Susan.  “That was a real pig move by you, you know.”

“Oh, come on, Susan,” I argue, “it’s the college experience!”

“That’s not an excuse for grabbing women!” says Veronica.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Justin.  “Let’s all just go out tonight and get blasted so we can forget about all of this.”

“First of all, I doubt they’ll discharge me by tonight, dude,” I say.  “And second of all, I got caught with weed!  Wasn’t I technically supposed to be put under arrest or something?”

“No, I sweet-talked the police officer into letting you off with a warning,” says Olivia, winking at me.

“Oh, okay, great!  Uh, thanks!” I say.  “But third of all, it’s Sunday!  There aren’t going to be any parties on a Sunday night!”

“Sure there are!  I know a guy in Phi Upsilon who says they’re throwing an absolute rager tonight!” says Justin.

“Look, Justin, you can go out if you want, but I’m going to stay here with Aaron,” says Veronica, glaring at him and then turning her soft brown eyes and easy smile to me.

“Me too,” says Susan.

“And me,” says Olivia.

“Don’t forget me!” pipes Mary.

“I guess I’ll stay, too,” mumbles Richie.

“Damn, guys, Aaron’s going to be fine!” says Justin.  “Besides, he would want us to go out, wouldn’t you, buddy?”

I look at Justin as if I’m seeing him in the light for the first time.  What kind of friend says that?  The rest of these guys are being true friends, but Justin-- well, he’s just being himself, I guess.

“You know what?  Just go out, Justin, and have fun,” I say, smiling.  “Let me know how it goes.  I don’t think I’ll be going out again-- for a while, at least, anyway.”

Justin looks at me warily, sensing a shift in my tone.

“Okay, buddy,” he says uneasily.  “Feel better!”  He walks through the door, closing it quietly behind him.

“Can you believe him?” Veronica asks.  The other girls nod and grunt in agreement.  Richie looks longingly out the door, then turns back toward the group.

“So, if we’re not going out this weekend, what are we going to do?” he asks me, a puzzled expression on his face.

“Well, I was thinking maybe we could try something different,” I say, looking toward Veronica, who returns my smile.  “Something new and exciting.”

“Like what?” asks Olivia.

“I was hoping you’d ask,” says a glowing Veronica.  “There’s this new Thai place that just opened up on Palace Street, so I was thinking we go there for dinner at around seven, then afterward, there’s this really pretty spot on the hill next to Luchsinger Hall that I hear has an amazing view I’ve been meaning to check out, and I was thinking we could all go there with blankets and just lay down and talk and wait for the stars to come out, and then maybe we could…”

As she excitedly describes her plans to the group, I smile and close my eyes.  Maybe I was looking in all the wrong places for the college experience.  Maybe, after all these weekends of trying so hard to have fun, everything I’ve been looking for has been right under my nose all along.